On balance, anyone remote before the pandemic and traveling the world has probably had a better life than someone with the same skills making double the salary in SV. Just the reduction in poop on sidewalks speaks for itself.
Maybe this is falling into the trap that OP wanted to avoid but I think you're right. Sure, if I moved to the Bay Area my income would go up by 10-15%. But about half of that would go straight to taxes, and IMO the remainder wouldn't be enough to set me up with a comparable quality of life.
Apparently this comment triggered someone lol.