Btw, some smart person once said "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" Cross that option off hour list and get some help. Suicide hotline, nearby mental health professionals are both good options.
I can relate to some of your feelings. It sounds go me like you are burned out and are questioning your chosen career path. The uncertainy of freelan cing can be a lot to handle when you are already not feeling at the top of your game. Don't worry, Jou left an unhealthy environment, that was a good move. You will figure out the rest. Give youself a break, getting over burnout takes time.
Drop me a line, I run a mobile dev shop and I have a lot of well-paying web, Android and iPhone work. I provide on-the-job training as well.
I do too, mainly because I want to see more JS/HTML based mobile device development, possibly some standard APIs in the near future.
I've been spoiled by the web and I don't like having to deal with multiple languages, platforms and dev environments just to be able to reach a decent portion of my potential audience.