It's interesting to me, as if you read Benjamin Franklins biography, he mentions creating a literary circle being super important. I suspect many of our important thoughts leaders through history created small social circles where they hyperfocused on their domain with friends in a more social way
ACE 6.
I did good career wise, failure was just not an option to me so I worked hard. At school I was put into accelerated classes for gifted kids. But I feel like I could have done a lot better with more support at home. I see that people get points for diversity etc. in college or hiring, but there is no such support for people who suffer silently, and even if there was I have too much pride to let others know just for some brownie points. Life was particularly hard before I found employment, roughly from the age of 18 to 26. That was also the period when my mental health challenges were more difficult and I had not yet learned how to cope. I have not yet gotten any ‘treatment’ for mental health issues. I got some money after making some fortunate investment decisions that allowed me to climb out of poverty, it might be trivial sum for most people out there but it was a lot to me. Lately I get feelings of being an orphan, just out there on my own and not having my own people to share things with or support in life.
My wife is startled sometimes when I react as I do, she doesn’t understand where it comes from. I have forgetfulness and emotional regulation issues. But she is a nice person and helps me out.
I worry about money and the future all the time.
I would like to thank my mom and God for everything, and Jensen Huang.
Will delete this later.
I am suffering from this too, and I am not sure who to turn to or what to do about it.
I work remotely and all my interaction with coworkers is maybe half an hour everyday where we talk about work and nothing else. If I challenge myself to go to office, I find that its only about 33% occupied.
I have few friends but they don't call me anymore and live far apart.
Tried to meet women but it didn't work out.
I think the silver lining of loneliness being so prevalent is that other people are feeling it too and want to do something about it. Knowing nothing about your situation I would guess that statistically if you're feeling lonely then your friends are also likely to feel lonely -- maybe they also say that their friends don't call them. I think this is a great opportunity in that there's desire from other people to connect with you that you could tap into.
Speaking from my own experience, it's very uncomfortable to be forward about trying to make friends / strengthen friendships. It reminds me of the stigma that online dating had when I first did it circa 2010 -- it has a connotation of being "desperate", and maybe that cool people wouldn't have to be desperate. But in my personal experience I've seen this shift a lot in the last year, where there is a lot of relief and appreciation when I mention wanting more friends and hint that I want to be friends with the person I'm talking to (they often respond by saying that they want more friends too). So I personally decided that I would rather risk looking desperate than feel lonely, and I recommend that tradeoff, especially because it's not perceived negatively like we worry it will be.
That's not to say that I think there's some easy option that I think you're avoiding; from my experience it has taken a number of incremental steps (and it's not like I've fully "solved" it). I guess I'm just trying to say don't get discouraged by the magnitude of the situation -- it might seem like a single phone call to a friend could never make a difference, but things like that add up over time.
As for practical suggestions, I've found video games to be a good activity to do with people that I don't live near. I've also found Buddhist meditation to be a great option for this -- it has the same sort of social structure and benefits as organized religion, but without requiring any particular sorts of beliefs or devotions. A lot of that has moved online these days -- I haven't tried this out but there are things like this https://www.sit-heads.com/
There are a lot of group sports (like run clubs or pickle ball) and art classes that are open sign ups where you don't need to know anyone to join, and you can just casually meet people. They might not become friends outside of the activity, but it's an easy entry point to feeling like you're part of your community. There used to be a lot of board game meet ups like this too, but the pandemic kind of killed the scene.
I feel that is an answer for americans.
There is no sports or arts classes where I live. Most people work and go home to watch TV.
A lot of places in the world don't have such option with activities or outdoors.
(Now I'm a bit confused on the difference between Gurugram, and Gurgaon, so I'm hoping I did not mix the locations. If I did I'm terribly sorry. Also, understandably I haven't tried these, so I can't say if they are any good. But there is really only one way to figure that out :) )
I just want to second the recommendation for the board game meetup. Those can be a lot of fun, and a good way get out of the house and socialize. It's also good to bring your own favorite game in case the selection there isn't to your liking; you might find others who love your game but never tried it.
Same city. India is trying to replace British era city names. Bombay/Mumbai. Bangalore/Bengaluru. Hard to get people to stop using an old name they like though!
You have a pretty good variety of coworking spaces nearby at many different price points. Some pretty upscale ones in horizon center! Plenty of decent ones down golf course road. Why not join?
Sounds like you need a more drastic change to get you to snap out of your patterns. Maybe try moving to a new place? I suspect that if you move to a place that has been seeing a lot of population growth in the past couple of years (like Austin or Denver), it's probably easier to meet friends because there will be others in the same situation. You should also try to find an activity or hobby that you are into that has a social component to it. Or even something like volunteering or mentoring-- anything to get you out of the house and communicating more with people in the real world.
I had basically the same problem, and it doesn't help that I'm picky about the people whose company I enjoy, I found going to the mosque more helped me start developing an irl social circle again.
If you're not religious maybe something like a library or a hackspace could help? Going to hackspace helped alleviate some of my loneliness, even though I never managed to develop a social circle out of it.
Some time ago it occurred to me that the price you pay in time and effort absorbing the material from a book like this one is usually incomparably higher than the price of the book itself.
I can assure you that most (if not all) C++11/14 developers that have some prior experience with those standards will find our book useful in various possible ways.
If you don't want to take my word for it, check out the acknowledgements in the book itself -- it has been thoroughly reviewed endorsed by many top-notch ISO committee members and C++ experts.
Presumably the gloriousness of any emperor, from any empire we care to name, was bought with the blood of masses of peasants and weaker neighbors? Looking over the list[1] I don't see anything surprising.
Please don't post unsubstantive and/or flamebait comments to HN. It's not what this site is for, because it makes interesting topics more boring and much nastier.
