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Evidence?

Also false dichotomy. We do not know the percentage of successful marriages with undiscovered affairs.


Similar to Global Thermonuclear War in the movie WarGames, the only winning move may soon simply be not to play :O


While this sounds sexist, would any husband actually argue against that part? Let's be frank, here


That limits your choices quite a bit. For example there are a large number of attractive women with terrible incomes and/or no savings, for which "scoring a successful man" may be a "valid" mating strategy


If you select someone as your mate who is mostly interested in you for your money, then you should expect that they will take a big chunk of your money if you divorce. I don't mean this in a "you deserve it" kind of way, but in a "this is the relationship you agreed to" way.

If your mate is with you for your money and you are with them for their youth and looks, then assuming you stay with them long enough that after a divorce much of their youth and good looks are gone, why shouldn't they get some of your money? You got their most valuable assets.


You're assuming that only gold diggers will take half your money when they divorce you.

But that's not true. Under United States laws, all women will take half your money when they divorce you. Doesn't matter that they're gold diggers or not.

And also, most women marries up (marry a guy who makes more than her), not down.


I'm not assuming anything. If you are worried about your spouse taking "your money", then don't marry someone who isn't bringing in a similar amount of money. It's not complex.

This whining about women taking "your money" in a divorce is absurd. Get a prenup or marry someone with as much or more money. If you marry someone with less money (i.e. someone "marrying up") then you are knowingly "marrying down". Don't whine about fairness. This isn't a problem with the courts being "unfair" so much as a problem with people being petty.


> Get a prenup

Always a pleasant conversation to start... ;)

> or marry someone with as much or more money.

This strategy works around an artificial limitation imposed by the law which limits your dating pool quite a bit, and overly penalizes the successful. Of 20-odd women I've dated, exactly one made more money than me.

> This whining about women taking "your money" in a divorce is absurd

In medicine, when we evaluate treatments, we base it on statistical efficacy. In law, when we evaluate guilt, we base it on evidence. When determining safe traffic laws (such as requiring seatbelts, we look at accident statistics. But for some reason, in marriage, a high failure rate is always "someone else's problem with commitment". (Along the same lines, I suppose fatality rates from accidents where seat belts weren't used are "someone else's problem with driving"!) No one stops to think "ok so maybe marriage itself may be the problem that needs some tweaking", and evaluates marriage changes/expectations based on empirical efficacy (lasting marriages). In the meantime, women profit off the pains of sorry men in failed relationships. Why is that?


I agree.

She doesn't have to be a gold digger to take half your money because the laws still applies regardless of her gold-digging status.

The proper way to handle this is to marry some who makes the same or more than you.


Or just accept that in a divorce, things will be split more or less equally in the absence of a prenup.

I make more than my wife. If we got divorced, her getting half the assets would not be the biggest problem.


It's up to each person to decide what they find acceptable and act accordingly.


Right. So as has been true forever and a day, men can either think with their head or with their penis.


You mean, use their head for their wallet or their penis.


I actually think this biases mate selection (not necessarily in a good way) toward people of similar or slightly greater/lesser income


Fascinating. I see it as yellow.

This also hints at the "qualia" mystery...


http://www.foia.cia.gov/sites/default/files/document_convers...

Page 3, point 4:

"Sightings of unexplained objects at great altitudes and traveling at high speeds in the vicinity of major U.S. defense installations are of such nature that they are not attributable to natural phenomenon or known types of aerial vehicles."

Also note the National Security Council directive on the last page.


I thought Erlang looked weirder than Elixir (to the extent that I was turned off until Elixir came along), but fortunately, both of our opinions are compatible as everything compiles down to BEAM and is interoperable :)

From a semantic persopective I've found that I almost automatically understand Erlang just from working with Elixir. Some things like OTP are pretty much identical. Plus you get "real" macros :)


Yeah good point, Elixir is not just Erlang with a different syntax. It has streams, macros and a few other nice things. I believe Jose Valim likes to emphasise that point as well.

Now I personally prefer Erlang's syntax. I like that it is different because I know semantically stuff behaves differently. I would be more confused and disturbed by it if it looked like Java for example. I also like the immutable variables aspect..

However at the end of the day I am very happy to see Elixir grow. It really has one of the friendliest and most welcoming community. It will hopefully bring more people to the BEAM VM ecosystem.


> I also like the immutable variables aspect.

Elixir has the same immutable variables. I don't know why this is such a misconception. Erlang conflates rebinding and reassignment, Elixir does not, and the tradeoffs seem to (overall) be better in Elixir's case. Here, read the language creators' explanation as to why that is, it's the best:

http://blog.plataformatec.com.br/2016/01/comparing-elixir-an...

Very succinct and (hopefully) puts this misconception to bed.


The OTP are identical because both use the same OTP, the original Erlang OTP. Elixir just puts a wrapper around it to give a more elixir feel. And add default callbacks which I personally don't like.


"I couldn't be bothered to Google the problem, but based on my sample size of 1, I think your problem doesn't exist"

Thanks for that useful comment, man.


This is a quite beautiful post about engineering in general, actually. You try to solve a practical problem as best as you can, and you get sort of an unintended-beneficial-consequences effect and end up creating principles that have a more universally-applicable nature.

I personally hope Elixir helps thrust Erlang into ever more success. (But not so much success that it becomes a victim of it...)


Two sides to every story.

What is not beautiful is that:

- the people who conceived the original idea of the 'Actor model' were not appreciated enough, and their work had to languish in obscurity, during the OO (object-oriented) hype era, before it was rediscovered and later the dots were connected.

- 'reinvention of wheels' is bad because it's inefficient.

- Not to mention original OO idea by Alan Kay, in Smalltalk, was actually the 'Actor model' but it ended up being very misunderstood when implemented in C++, Java, etc, with the term OO being hijacked.


> 'Actor model' but it ended up being very misunderstood when implemented in C++, Java, etc,

Yap here it is right from the horse's mouth, so to speak:

https://computinged.wordpress.com/2010/09/11/moti-asks-objec... (see comments history)

---

If you are doing “simulated data structure programming” rather than object oriented programming. One of my original motivations for trying to invent OOP was to eliminate imperative assignment (at least as a global unprotected action). “Real OOP” is much more about “requests”, and the more the requests invoke goals the object knows how to accomplish, the better. “Abstract Data Types” is not OOP!

...

Many of Carl Hewitt’s Actors ideas which got sparked by the original Smalltalk were more in the spirit of OOP than the subsequent Smalltalks. Significant parts of Erlang are more like a real OOP language the the current Smalltalk, and certainly the C based languages that have been painted with “OOP paint”."

---

There you have it folks, Erlang is more OO than C++/Java and C#. It is kind of a funny tidbit, good for sharing during meetups over beers.

One interesting response to that I heard from a developer was "Well, it doesn't matter what Kay thinks anymore. C++/Java/C# got so popular and that is OO now officially".


I guess I would have to agree with the unnamed developer, common usage means that OO is C++/Java and C#, hacker is a negative thing, and decimate just means to reduce by a significant portion not reduce by a tenth exactly. Perhaps to the detriment of all these terms.


All of this reflects my thoughts on the matters, and I've been waiting more than 15 years for the co-called Actor model to 'come around', grieving the use of the term 'Object Oriented' in the meantime.

This comes across as strongly worded, but I'm going to let it stand, given the understanding that the C++ and Java style of 'Object Oriented' has value in a lot of situations and circumstances. Though I have leaned very heavily on Kay's 'Actor Model' over the years, C++ style OOP has also been useful from time to time.


As someone who has only recently (finally) become disillusioned by OO (especially in larger codebases and/or on programming teams, which both seem to rapidly escalate tech debt and complexity thanks to things like mutability, class reopening and stowing-state-everywhere)... I'm so sorry, man. The difference (which is significant) unfortunately seems to require years of real-world experience with both to see it.

I've been pointing OO people to these thoughts by John Carmack, who is pretty well-respected in the C++ OO community: http://gamasutra.com/view/news/169296/Indepth_Functional_pro...


I learned to program well before OO became The Thing, so when it came around, I had a foundation to consider it with a broader perspective.

Re: "I'm so sorry, man." Thanks, but I'm not sorry at all. The (what I call) Message Oriented Programming first approach has allowed me to have a highly successful career.

Re: Carmack. There's quite a few such highly respected and respectable articles out there, but I gave up advocacy a long, long time ago. I just let what I'm doing, and not doing, do the talking, for better and worse.


Don't be jaded! Stay excited! You were way ahead of the curve! ;)


Thanks for that! I'm not jaded, just realistic.

I'm actually working at a startup now that I found very interesting, mostly because it's based on flow-based programming paradigms:

https://flux.io/


> Not to mention original OO idea by Alan Kay...

i was kind of curious about this statement, so i looked up the history of programming languages (http://cdn.oreillystatic.com/news/graphics/prog_lang_poster....).

if you take a look, it would seem to _suggest_ that smalltalk borrows from both simula-67 and lisp. wikipedia page for simula-67 suggest that it (simula-67) "introduced objects, classes, inheritance and subclasses, virtual procedures, coroutines and discrete event simulation, and features garbage collection..."

now it might be just possible that simula-67 was the first language to incorporate those features in a language, and that alan-kay originally came up with that idea, waaay before simula-67 came into being.


No, I didn't come up with the idea before Simula -- but it did happen before Simula-67 (which doesn't matter at all here).

How it happened is well chronicled in the history paper I was asked to write by the ACM in 1992-3 "The Early History of Smalltalk" (i.e. why speculate when most high res answers are available online?). Ivan Sutherland's Sketchpad was the big first hit for me in 1966, and I saw the first Simula a week later.

Some of the confusion here is explained in the above link I wrote explaining that what is called "O-O" is nothing like I had in mind. The term was "colonized" because what we had been doing at Parc was powerful and we called it "object-oriented". But the "low-pass filter of O-O" was that Bjarne Strousrup decided to "do to C what had been done to Algol to make Simula". This was a perfectly reasonable idea. We were quite a bit more radical at Parc because we needed enormous amounts of expressability to invent personal computing (and we could and did design and build hardware that was matched to the radical ideas).

An interesting historical note is that the two inventors of Simula had completely different views of what they were doing and how it should be used for programming. Dahl was brilliant and conservative, and later wrote papers about using class definitions to make Abstract Data Types (and that is how a lot of so-called OOP programming is done today). Nygaard on the other hand was quite a wonderful wild man and visionary -- beyond brilliant -- and was into the abstract "simulate the meaningful structures" idea. Dahl was trying to fix the past and Nygaard was trying to invent the future.

During the 1978 HOPL conference time, we were visited at Parc at two different times, first by Dahl and Tony Hoare, to whom I showed and tried to explain Smalltalk: they didn't get it, and this was very frustrating. A few days later Nygaard showed up, and it was completely different: he got everything, and was finishing my sentences after 5 minutes!

Back to the origins in '66: besides the biological metaphors I had under my belt, I was also interested in the "virtual machines" ideas that were being used to do multi-processes and time-sharing in a safe way via hardware memory protection schemes (none of which I had had any involvement with inventing). One of the things that popped into my head while contemplating Sketchpad and Simula was that it would be just incredibly good -- and a huge improvement in systems designs -- to be able to use protected processes as the sole building blocks communicating only by messages that were not commands, but only "suggestions".

I think I'd call this not an invention, but a "realization" -- that the recursive machine idea was already around, and what it lacked was scalability downwards, so that all entities could be "protected virtual machines". A lot of what I now have to call "real OOP" turned out to be some years of software engineering in order to create a practical systems material that could scale in all directions.


I had no idea that Dahl and Nygaard ever visited you at PARC, that's fascinating. Growing up in Norway and learning programming in school, Simula was revered as a proud if distant national accomplishment, in an field where there weren't much else to be proud of (though this was also around the time when Norsk Data [1] collapsed, and people weren't really talking about how innovative they had been). I wish I had learned about Smalltalk back then; I didn't really look closely at it until I learned Objective-C.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norsk_Data


"Throughout its history Norsk Data produced a long string of extremely innovative systems, with a disproportionately large number of world firsts."

Still seems like something worth being proud of. It just got sideswiped by the personal computer industry (a lot of things did).


Definitely. For example, not a lot of people know that Tim Berners-Lee developed his first hypertext system, ENQUIRE, an ND machine (the NORD-16 minicomputer running the operating system SINTRAN) [1].

[1] http://history-computer.com/Internet/Maturing/Lee.html


I think it relates to the idea that "Object Oriented" meant message passing (methods) between entities (objects). Not the meaning that was derived over time as programming languages borrowed select ideas from Smalltalk and then considered themselves OO because of feature similarity.

These days it's hard to argue for correcting the features that people label as OO. It's part of history at this point. It is still interesting to note that there was a slightly different intention when Alan Kay coined the term though. Perhaps we need a new label. Kay-OO or something.


Agreed, love the post. Kind of wish other programming languages were seen the same way.


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