Just moved from a big house in the countryside on a few acres to a rowhouse in the city and I am so, so much happier here. I had a lot of suicidal ideation when I lived in the middle of nowhere. I see friendly people every day.
I can relate. I haven't ever had suicidal ideation because of this but I can tell you I am shocked at how much I enjoy living in a city (1800sqft house on an 8000sqft lot) in a real, social neighborhood compared to either our previous suburban house (4500sqft house on 1/3ac lot) or the rural house I grew up in (2000sqft on 4ac in rural outskirts of a small city). I'm sure this doesn't apply universally, but for my family it turned out that having friends and acquaintances within walking distance is great for mental health!
I can relate to that. I've lived in a dense urban environment, and out in the sticks where we couldn't see our neighbors. Right now I live in a neighborhood of 8000-10000sf lots and I know all my neighbors, but we don't share walls. It's wonderful. Very social, very fun, and enough "in the city" so that there's nothing I'm missing out on.
It helps that I live in a suburban city, so getting around is easy and fast.
Is it really profound, though? Or is it up there with live, laugh, love and life is a journey?
If a concept like this is widely held to be profound on HN, then perhaps -- and I mean this as gently as possible -- that could be a sign that the average engineer's career is a little too much of a treadmill, and would benefit from a little more downtime.
Well, I think it's valuable inasmuch as it's easy to look at big, beautiful houses as an aspiration, when they won't do much to improve your relationships with other people, which tend to be at the core of happiness.
Servants or assistants might not provide you with the kind of connection that you long.
Or they could, if they care about you, respectfully attend to your needs and listen to you.
>Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. Even some people who are surrounded by others throughout the day—or are in a long-lasting marriage—still experience a deep and pervasive loneliness.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/loneliness
There is no right answer, having a think about what your objective is, and what you want to achieve - may help making the decision easier; or at least provide a guiding light.
> Hire people who are ok without a social workplace
>>> Local support system: If the only support system someone has is their work one, then being in a remote environment will likely make them go crazy. You need people who have outside support systems so they have people they can interact with on a daily/weekly basis.
I found this really interesting. We've been a "remote first" company for about 2 years now, after being a non-remote company for the prior 3 years to this. Initially, the feedback on remote was great from employees.
However, more recently the feedback from 1 on 1s is that "It's not as fun anymore", "I miss the <buzz about the office> <going out for lunch> <random nights out> with colleagues ", from certain people. I think these people fall into this category of not having a strong social life / support group outside of workmates.
Remote companies come with a redefinition of what a social workplace is and how you get to know someone. In my past years, I've mostly worked remote and still I think I know the people I've worked with very well.
Communicating regularly every day and doing things like online gaming or company retreats can help to redefine social interactions.
The support system is really important, if you are remote it should mean that you prefer to be close to your support system. If you are not, then something is wrong and that's going to be a challenge.
I hope I'm not spamming when posting this, but this is exactly what we're trying to solve at Out Of Office with "Work Clubs" [0]
We've spoken with thousands of remote workers in the last 2 years and the one recurring theme we kept hearing about was loneliness. We're testing out this Work Club concept as a way for remote workers to get together and work together throughout the day. It's a low-friction way to meet people during your work day, while still getting your work done.
We've seen a lot of positive initial feedback and want to continue trying it out in new cities.
