As a startup founder that recently sold my company, I can totally relate. Right up till the moment I signed the final SPA I thought I would crash and go crazy. Some of the things that helped me through:
1) You are not alone. Most founders will completely sympathize with you and understand your feelings. There are a growing number of founders that are coming out with their stories. Remember pg's articles about the highs and the lows? Also check #3 of YC's survey here: http://www.paulgraham.com/really.html
2) It's normal. Knowing that everybody hurts. It's normal that things are hard. If you can acknowledge this one simple fact, things become much easier.
3) Openness. Talking to friends and family and being open about it. The hardest thing I found was to be vulnerable wit those I feared might abuse it (investors, spouse, co-founders). In the end it actually improved everything about my relationships with most of those (and some that it didn't - it showed their true colors). For example with my gf - for her it was an instant revelation how I was feeling and she understood why I was cranky, tired or otherwise distant. After telling her how I felt - it was like instant intimacy.
4) Time out. Taking constructive time out and feeling happy are correlated immensely. Constructive time out is not watching the newest Walking Dead, but for me an effective time out was writing lists of my thoughts down. Taking the time out meant I would feel more in control. Feeling in control directly leads to more peace and happiness.
5) Doing GTD. The other items in the list are somewhat softer but this is one that has made the biggest practical impact. I religiously follow zero inbox and for me it is a something I pride myself in too -> feel better about things and gives me the brainspace to think about the higher level stuff.
Hope that helps. Feel free to email if you want to discuss more. There's much more back story to this than can be public. ;-)
This type of fatigue is usually caused by selfishness and excessive thinking about yourself
Why do you think this is true?
You might be totally right, but it would be a more subliminal egoism, like feeling like a victim and being excessively defensive. I don't think most people will understand why being tired and selfishness are linked. Curious to why you make this causality / correlation.
I'm sorry that this post is so long, but to explain anything worth explaining usually takes some time.
First, we can be clear that the type of fatigue the OP is posting about is not physical. It is not the type of fatigue that you feel after physical exertion. Rather, he is talking about a mental phenomenon.
Now, if it is possible for you (and all the other readers of this post) to conceive that the current "accepted paradigm" for mental health is just that -- a paradigm, but not an absolute truth. There is a model of the world which sees the world as having no intrinsic meaning/effect separate from the subjective superimposition upon it which occur in thought. It is called "Vedanta" and I have been studying it intensely for three years. No, you don't get a degree out of it, but it is a 'subjective science' of sorts that lays down subjective laws (as a scientist would) and encourages you to verify or disprove them by repeating the same experiments (as a scientist would), subjectively.
There's a comment above that deplores me for not wording my OP better. No doubt, I said what I said without justification. But careful analysis of his own comments would reveal that he is merely using rhetoric to lend strength to arguments, not reasoning. By posting like s/he suggests, you are just leaning on a current paradigm and gross generalisation.
Vedanta defines three aspects to the human personality:
- a physical aspect (body)
- an indiscriminate, emotional aspect (mind)
- a discriminate, rational aspect (intellect)
Accordingly the arrogation of these aspects to "I" results in the creation of the individuality and the appearance of ego. "I" is essentially unconditioned and free (absolute existence, knowledge and bliss -- the thought is similar to Descartes' "I think, therefore I am" in that there can be no experience without the presence of "I") which becomes limited, conditioned by the body (perceptions), mind (emotions) and thought (rational intellect).
It's useful to note that the "I" itself may become identified with _any_ object of consciousness, given enough repetition in thought. This _fact_ is demonstrated by the current proliferation of repetitive advertising and brand awareness. In fact, desire is defined in Vedanta as indiscriminate thought flow towards an object or being which results in mental agitation. Happiness, then, is merely the cessation of said agitation by contact with object/being.
Thus, if you limit your thoughts to yourself, the circle you are binding yourself to is very small. The causes and conditions required for your happiness are extremely specific because "this is what makes me happy" falls in a very small subset of the world. You become dependent upon this subset for your happiness, and the world, being changing, cannot always oblige. The whole range of emotion springs from this: the world cannot always cater to _ME_. This is selfishness.
If, however, you utilise the intellect to entertain higher values (I am doing this to improve my community/country/all humanity) then you have expanded your sense of "I" and the causes and conditions for your happiness fall in a larger subset of the world. Consequence: you are happier.
Children never "burn-out" (but are full of energy!) because they are not constantly thinking about themselves. In adults, there is more emphasis on "I" and "me". This burn out is caused by thoughts moving to the past ("OMG I FAILED") or the future ("I GOT TO GET THIS GOT TO GET THIS"). Vedanta recommends:
1) Plan your course of action thoroughly, considering both the past and the future
2) Dive into action, and _while acting, engage the intellect to hold the mind on the present action_, which, co-incidentally is the definition of concentration.
This post was rushed, again. But if anyone is interested in elaboration I'm always available :)
It may surprise you to read this, but I genuinely appreciate your extended remarks and context. I've been thinking about these ideas, and find it interesting now that I understand you were coming from a philosophical place and not merely an "oh, just suck it up" one to a complete stranger.
That's an incorrect overgeneralization. Not all startups are alike, as I'm sure you know.
If the employees get screwed over, then it doesn't sound like they are valued. I see many startups where the employees are super valued assets, get a decent salary AND they do what they love.
I work at an early stage startup, and I absolutely love what I do, who I work for/with, and I make a lot of money. I have stock options, but it's just icing on the cake.
Your blog is brilliant. Thanks for posting it here. (I realize that's sort of unnecessary but in case you doubt plugging it in the future, don't. It's actually really good.)
One of the cool side effects I'm expecting from christeen starting this is that through her experience she'll understand me better. Looking back I hope she can place into perspective all the ups and downs that startup-life brings.
And I hope I'll be able to understand better what she's going through.
I agree, you will probably both get an eye-opening experience as to what the other person was going through. You guys have a really rare chance to walk a mile in each others shoes
Hopefully you both remember what it was like in your own shoes during the first trip.
The original idea started in 2006 while I was working with Eight Media, which I had founded together with Daniel Spronk (spazmaster). After hacking away at a prototype for a while we presented our MVP to a live audience in London in 2007. The response was overwhelming, we got serious about it. Found an angel willing to invest.
Then in 2009 Daniel went back to focus on Eight.nl while I kept going with Soocial. Looking back I think it was much harder without Daniel as a co-founder than I expected. It makes such a big difference to have someone there to bounce idea's, make decisions together and just have the support of someone else who's just as involved and committed.
Very much agree with PG's statement that although possible as a single founder, you're chances of success are less.
I've only visited for real once, about 5 years ago. We borrowed a friend's apartment near the center for about a week. I don't think I've seen anywhere else where people live so well.
How is it growing in a hub exactly? Where do all founders of successful startups hang out? There are some startups out there in Amsterdam, but there are many in other cities too (Utrecht, Delft, Enschede etc.). Amsterdam is definitely not a clear winner as location to found a startup among cities in Holland.
How is it growing as a hub exactly? Did you actually read the article? ;)
Luckily Appsterdam is not limited to Amsterdam. This isn't a pissing match between Dutch cities. It's about international branding. Appschede doesn't sound as good. Most people associate Delft with pottery. Americans have never heard of Utrecht.
As far as most people are concerned, these places are features of Amsterdam. But if you're in the Netherlands, we're a train ride away, and you're always welcome to come up for an event or a meeting.
One initiative doesn't make it a hub. If you found a startup in Holland, there are plenty of other cities which are suitable to found. The distances are sort of close, so the reasons why you HQ your startup in the valley are not exactly applicable to Amsterdam, you get the same benefits in most other big cities with talent.
You are right it is not a pissing contest, but you mention exactly what Americans (or other foreigners) would think. Most foreigners don't know much about Holland and see everything as a sub-urb of Amsterdam. They don't know where the local talent is, where the good universities are, where (local) people want to live. Don't forget that Dutch people think Amsterdam is as cool as foreigners do.
Don't take me wrong, Appsterdam is a cool initiative, but to me it sounds like something by foreigners, for foreigners.
It's not by foreigners for foreigners. Our attendees, and our volunteers, are about half expat, half local. Appsterdam will be a benefit to App Makers around the world, and also a tremendous boon to the Netherlands.
There's Stikk (stikk.nl), de Balie, Singel 146, Rokin75, TNW crowd (incl thenextweb.com, twittercounter, paydro), de Waag and Pakhuis de Zwijger and of course Sofa just getting bought (they leave but still... ;-), not to mention all the different places where startups are renting offices together (marvia, cardcloud). I've seen quite a few awesome things (products, people and deals) in A'dam and it's only getting better.
Wouldn't say that hiring is easier in Amsterdam... It's always hard to get real good developers and when pusing out a job vacancy, most responses are from non Dutch developers who want to work in Amsterdam (not that is a problem).
Actually we are working right now on exactly the above described use case. Let us know if you want a private beta code to help test it (it's in currently in alpha). Email my username @ company name.
Could this also work as a music curation for in our office? Would save the SONOS battles that can turn ugly pretty quickly.