It is that hard for some. Empathy requires actually going out and talking to people. And then listening to them describe their experiences, without editorialising or interrupting.
I've met plenty of engineers who would rather spend 2 weeks programming than spend 5 minutes talking to their users. I used to struggle a lot with this myself when I was younger. Social anxiety isn't easy to overcome.
I don't really know what I'm doing, but. Why couldn't messages be stored encrypted on a blockchain with a system where both user's in a one-one conversation agree to a key, or have their own keys, that grants permission for 'their' messages. And then you'd never be locked into a private software / private database / private protocol. You could read your messages at any point with your key.