I used to be very scared of talking to unfamiliar people, but I no longer feel the fear. I'm thoroughly desensitized to it from lots of socializing in the past, and being employed at various companies for years where I need to talk to coworkers. I guess it's been replaced by an aversion to the whole situation, a mild distaste for meeting people. It's like I have a lot of mental baggage holding me back, which perhaps came from lost friendships and relationships. Maybe it's also remnants of the strong anxiety I used to have.
I know that I also dont maintain a lot of close friendships outside my family and SO. I am relatively self contained and don't seek a lot of advice or counsel. In that sense I'm very much a lazy friend as well, I don't want to put a ton of effort into them. I don't know if that is similar to what you are describing.
Perhaps being somewhat more self contained than others is a learned behavior to have helped us deal with being socially anxious. Would make sense. I accept it and it doesn't bother me about myself.
