> My goals have been simplified down to making sure that I do right by my children
You know, I don't have kids and I'm not you, so I truly have no opinion about that. It's your call and I'm sure you've made it carefully and are doing what's right for you and your life.
However, I just want to say that when this attitude is repeated over and over, with a whole population of people using their children as their contribution to society, and then the children make the grandchildren their contribution to society, and it repeats generation after generation, you can end up with essentially a bunch of families who are taking care of themselves, and sort of punting social responsibility down the line perpetually to later generations.
When I look out at the world I see a lot of people trying to make sure their kids are better off than they were... which is great. It's like bubbles in a glass of water that are all slowly rising. But it also seems like with everyone looking upward, we stop noticing that down below there are people whose bubbles are sinking down. Or maybe you're actually closer to that reality and you're fighting like hell not to fall below that line. And again, I would never question that choice.
But as a group what it adds up to is that there are families that are just trapped below that line. And we can focus on helping our kids rise, and they can help our grandkids rise, but at some point I think as a group we need to look beyond our families and realize that there are kids—and grown ups–out there who aren't our blood but are just as deserving of our support.
And I do see people make that choice, to really try to support someone beyond their immediate family, and it's amazing. But sometimes I worry that the attitude you describe is a little too easily accepted.
I think it's an opinion that is easily stated, but not easily done. It's easy to have kids and say they are your pride and joy, but not take it seriously. It's a very serious burden IF you are serious about raising kids properly. It requires study for each area of life that they enter, careful attention to their needs while trying to develop independence. It's very hard and utterly horrifying. Seeing other parents yell at teachers when their students are falling behind represents to me how dire the situation is, and I see that too often, and I read about it too often. I see it in my own extended family, where a history of neglect and lack of discipline have produced people that are essentially useless in society. But they all still say that their children are their pride and joy. I don't believe they know what it means to take parenting seriously.
Yes, I agree with you, it's very easy to be a hypocrite about this statement. There exists a serious moral bankruptcy in many areas of modern US society that allow people to be hypocrites, to take what they say at face value and just accept it (TV Evangelistic preachers with private jets???).
I like to believe I am taking the job seriously. Having a baby is basically 'Congratulations, you had sex'. Raising a child ranges from tossing a baby in a dumpster to making sure that they are the temporal and financial focus in your lives, and probably further.
You're not quite understanding me. I have no idea whether you're a great parent. As you say it's hard, but plenty of people do a good job. I'm just saying, even if you succeed at raising a kid who becomes a great parent, and they raise another kid who becomes a great parent, it's kind of like a little bubble of healthy people helping each other.
You know, I don't have kids and I'm not you, so I truly have no opinion about that. It's your call and I'm sure you've made it carefully and are doing what's right for you and your life.
However, I just want to say that when this attitude is repeated over and over, with a whole population of people using their children as their contribution to society, and then the children make the grandchildren their contribution to society, and it repeats generation after generation, you can end up with essentially a bunch of families who are taking care of themselves, and sort of punting social responsibility down the line perpetually to later generations.
When I look out at the world I see a lot of people trying to make sure their kids are better off than they were... which is great. It's like bubbles in a glass of water that are all slowly rising. But it also seems like with everyone looking upward, we stop noticing that down below there are people whose bubbles are sinking down. Or maybe you're actually closer to that reality and you're fighting like hell not to fall below that line. And again, I would never question that choice.
But as a group what it adds up to is that there are families that are just trapped below that line. And we can focus on helping our kids rise, and they can help our grandkids rise, but at some point I think as a group we need to look beyond our families and realize that there are kids—and grown ups–out there who aren't our blood but are just as deserving of our support.
And I do see people make that choice, to really try to support someone beyond their immediate family, and it's amazing. But sometimes I worry that the attitude you describe is a little too easily accepted.