Rough family, poverty. I grew up in council housing in West London, there was physical violence and there was crime everywhere around. I put myself on the streets to get myself away from the immediate physical danger and to prevent myself from continuing the vicious cycle of being nurtured in crime having that define my own life.
Whilst on the streets I hitch-hiked around, and as I did so I discovered that you slept during the day and kept your wits about you at night. It's too cold some nights to sleep out, so then you move. Or crawl into a building site where others wouldn't go and you'd be safe and mostly sheltered.
I eventually found that not being on the street at night was better than being on the street, since I was young I went to bars that had gigs. You could get in early before the gig started, so entrance was free. And then stay post-gig as a club would run until 3am at least. Some nights you'd meet students who would take an interest in the story and let you crash at theirs. Which is a free toast top-up and shower opportunity. I developed confidence from having to find these opportunities.
With the gigs settling in I would meet bands, and then they'd know me and give me free food from their riders. Eventually I knew a lot of the bands and I offered to run their T-Shirt stalls. This earned me money too.
Knowing the bands gave me exposure to them, so I wrote fanzines and sold those. You'd sell more fanzines if the band who were playing were on the cover... so I'd make only the insides, and produce covers according to who was playing.
Elastica took a shine to me so I followed them around, helped design their merchandise, run their paper mailing lists and sold T-Shirts. This led to the stock management thing, they purchased me an IBM computer which I put in the squat I then was living in. I built a program to manage their stock, then their mailing list, then tax reports of merchandise sold, etc.
Finally I ran into another band who I liked, and I offered all of the services I now knew how to do. The sales of merchandise, running of fan club, etc. They said yes, and I did that stuff and also acquired a modem (it was 1996 now). I taught myself HTML and PERL and made a website too.
Within 2 years I'd gone from the streets to employment in the music industry where programming was a core part of my job alongside selling merchandise. Later I worked directly for the label and by this time was off the streets properly with a flat-share with a girl I'd met in the music industry.
It makes a great tale, but not all of it was easy. Hunger was frequent, illness almost as frequent, cold nights scar your memory. I slept in some bad places at times, and other times managed to blag my way into some swanky places. It was ups and downs, but all of it was better than returning to the place where I had grown up. And the driving force in my life is to ensure that I never return to the place I came from, and to never go back to the streets. It's a hell of a motivator.
Initially I wanted to post a silly comment to the original question, but after I read your answer, I can't. You have my full respect, man. Your ghetto story is way more awesome than mine. :)
I'll admit something... my story hampers my present.
The problem with such a dark background and fighting out of it is that once out, not going back dominates everything you do. This translates to, "Don't risk what you have".
And therein lies a problem, if I have little but can't risk it then I'm risk averse and cannot gamble on high risk opportunities. I desperately want to do a start-up and to do something new, but what could possibly encourage me to risk what I now have, I've earned a normal life and I have no plan B were I to jeopardise it.
So I fight to never go back, which isn't the same as fighting to get somewhere in the future.
The real achievement, if I ever manage it, will be to get out of that predicament and to be free to take risk without fearing too greatly the repercussions. I probably won't ever be back on the street, but it's very hard to shake the fear of it. If someone else's tale can tell me how to do that I'd be grateful.
I know what you mean. I came from a fairly poor background myself - nothing as harrowing as your own though - and find myself more frugal than many of my peers. I tend not to commit to things that will become long-term obligations (for example, I rent and have no debt) and I save obsessively. I tend to measure my savings in how many years I could go without having to work. I think being in this kind of position helps with the fear.
First off, I'm very much impressed by your tenaciousness.
> The problem with such a dark background and fighting out of it is that once out, not going back dominates everything you do. This translates to, "Don't risk what you have".
I so agree with that, I feel that exactly like you do, and my background isn't nearly as rough as yours, not by a long shot.
Screwed up childhoods seem to come in all shapes and sizes.
I try to make reasonably small steps in order not to fail too badly. If I was more risk oriented I would have probably made out much better than I have, but whenever something works I become ultra conservative about it.
Investing in other peoples ventures is one of the ways in which I try to cure myself of that, it's been slow going and my 'batting average' so far is not fantastic but it still works for me.
It splits the 'fight to go back' from the 'fight to go forward', I literally write off the investment the moment it's done and from there it can only go 'up', not drag me back.
And it gives someone else a chance to fight their way out of whatever hole they're in.
Will the MSc help by providing a "safe" fallback position / opportunities should a venture not succeed (and/or a sense of same)?
I don't mean the question simply rhetorically -- although it initially popped into my mind in kind of that sense. I really wonder what your perspective is in that regard.
I have no A-levels and no prior college education (due to being on the street at that point).
The risk I think I have is that if I find myself out of work then no matter how good I am I won't find a job in a world where HR systems have check boxes to filter candidates. If "has degree" is a pre-req on a position then currently I won't even have my CV considered.
The MSc is the highest level thing I could attain with no pre-requisites save for experience. It is, for me, an insurance policy for what is now a career (a job is what I had when I was doing manual labour).
I have two goals for the degree: 1) Reduce risk of unemployment. 2) Increase chance of employment by a company that works on interesting things (I want to be the dumbest guy in the room so that I can learn even more).
What's been interesting is reading recent posts on HN and elsewhere about how dire education is and questioning its value. Yet for me it may be a life-saver and at GBP 7k is a bargain if it just keeps me employed. Only by reducing my risk and creating a buffer and fall-back am I going to be able to be free of the fear of failing... or so I believe currently.
Anyhow, the MSc after more than a decade of experience... I'm pleased by how much I do know, and have loved discovering the gaps in my knowledge. I especially love set theory, graph databases, semi-structured data, and the data structures, storage and algorithms for these things. As insurance goes, I'm not sure anything else could've also given me so much satisfaction to do and yet also is so universally recognised.
I understand the HR checkbox fear completely. I have been doing my own thing (limping along) for two years (as of this month) and out of the workforce. I don't have a college degree and am not sure if I can get a job when I need one.
I am not sure it is a completely rational fear since I have relationships in the industry, but it is not exactly a confidence booster.
I'm UK too and have no A-levels or Degree. I studied and dropped out of performing arts!
No issue in getting a job though. It's the experience, passion and determination that counts IMO. And only a few monolithic companies have those checkboxes.
My experience exactly (dropped out after 2 years). If a company requires a degree as an absolute, they most likely don't have super smart people working there, or it wont be a particularly great place to work (the government and large financial institutions come to mind).
They're got a couple of great professors and a few not-so-good ones. The great ones more than make up for the others and it's probably no surprise that their subjects also interest me the most.
I should be graduating this year (or maybe it's next year?), my project proposal is being reviewed and exams are in about 7 weeks time.
You can probably guess how with some background info:
It's 1998, this is the first Brit Award to allow internet voting. The voting is via a GET request, there is no cookie being set, no email address being collected... IP dupe checking is all they could be doing... but it's 1998 and every time you dial-up you get a new IP address.
We had a majordomo mailing list of 25,000 fans, and all of the other nominees had either no internet presence at that point or nothing more than a single page that they didn't even update with news about the award nomination.
Traditionally at that point the music industry used "phoners". Teams of paid people to phone up and rig an award. Pete Waterman had a good team, and it's a 2 week voting window. It took us a week to get rolling, but we did what you might expect with the info above and our mailing list.
At the end of week 1 someone leaked to Pete Waterman that they were out in the lead. He attempted to save the money and laid off his phoners, at that point our campaign just got underway, and with that mailing list being mostly passionate students we accelerated past what the phoners had achieved.
We only won by a small margin of a few thousand. But what mattered was the viral campaign and having Pete lay off the phoners. It was a bit of a scandal at the time, Pete was furious, but he just didn't really understand the internet and had been out-manoeuvred in a space he thought he knew intimately. We even made the front page of the Daily Record in Scotland :)
Whilst on the streets I hitch-hiked around, and as I did so I discovered that you slept during the day and kept your wits about you at night. It's too cold some nights to sleep out, so then you move. Or crawl into a building site where others wouldn't go and you'd be safe and mostly sheltered.
I eventually found that not being on the street at night was better than being on the street, since I was young I went to bars that had gigs. You could get in early before the gig started, so entrance was free. And then stay post-gig as a club would run until 3am at least. Some nights you'd meet students who would take an interest in the story and let you crash at theirs. Which is a free toast top-up and shower opportunity. I developed confidence from having to find these opportunities.
With the gigs settling in I would meet bands, and then they'd know me and give me free food from their riders. Eventually I knew a lot of the bands and I offered to run their T-Shirt stalls. This earned me money too.
Knowing the bands gave me exposure to them, so I wrote fanzines and sold those. You'd sell more fanzines if the band who were playing were on the cover... so I'd make only the insides, and produce covers according to who was playing.
Elastica took a shine to me so I followed them around, helped design their merchandise, run their paper mailing lists and sold T-Shirts. This led to the stock management thing, they purchased me an IBM computer which I put in the squat I then was living in. I built a program to manage their stock, then their mailing list, then tax reports of merchandise sold, etc.
Finally I ran into another band who I liked, and I offered all of the services I now knew how to do. The sales of merchandise, running of fan club, etc. They said yes, and I did that stuff and also acquired a modem (it was 1996 now). I taught myself HTML and PERL and made a website too.
Within 2 years I'd gone from the streets to employment in the music industry where programming was a core part of my job alongside selling merchandise. Later I worked directly for the label and by this time was off the streets properly with a flat-share with a girl I'd met in the music industry.
It makes a great tale, but not all of it was easy. Hunger was frequent, illness almost as frequent, cold nights scar your memory. I slept in some bad places at times, and other times managed to blag my way into some swanky places. It was ups and downs, but all of it was better than returning to the place where I had grown up. And the driving force in my life is to ensure that I never return to the place I came from, and to never go back to the streets. It's a hell of a motivator.