Slight related topic: Anyone else BBQ a lot, reach to open a beer bottle, but are missing an opener? Why don't they make every BBQ utensil have a decent bottle opener at the end. Better yet, every utensil in your house?
Please take this idea and run with, just tell me where to buy a set.
My grill spatula has a bottle opener embedded in the cutout pattern at the end. When I realized it was a bottle opener I immediately thought 'who would want to open a bottle with a grilling spatula?'. Now, finally, I have my answer: tvongaza would want to open a bottle with a grilling spatula.
Sadly I don't recall where we bought our grill tools. Looks, based on a quick google, like it's not an uncommon combination. I think this would probably suit you pretty well: https://www.firebox.com/Machete-Spatula/p7134?mkt=en-us
The bottle opener on the end of my grill spatula is the only bottle opener in my entire kitchen that I can reliably find (because it's affixed to this huge grill spatula).
I use it to open bottles far, far more often than I use it as a spatula. I don't think I even grilled this year. Someone should make a grill spatula + bottle opener combo without the useless spatula part.
(I never opened a bottle that way; but I did see someone break a tooth once. A molar, clean in half. Not sure if I'd rather have a wire stuck in my gut or break a molar in half.)
You can use a bic lighter or a table top (if you don't particularly care for the table) or even your teeth (if you don't particularly care for your teeth)
Do you not have any sort of fixed object in the general vicinity with a straight, perpendicular edge? Picnic table edges, grill lips, random boards and pieces of wood, the eye socket or tooth of an Enlish soccer hooligan?
Please take this idea and run with, just tell me where to buy a set.