> Men and women experimenters approached total strangers on a college campus, and said “Hi, I’ve been noticing you around campus, and I find you very attractive.”
I've done this in a nightclub and it works just fine. Most people will find a compliment to be quite a good thing, especially if it's delivered confidently.
You make a good point Douche. My older brother is a tall good looking guy with a big friendly smile. His advice to me was stand next to a woman and just barely encroaching on their personal space. Then await for their response.
I watched him demonstrate. He stood behind a petite woman who's height was practically at his navel level. She eventually turns around. At first she was confused to just find a wall-of-man behind her, and then slowly started to raise her gaze until she finally reached my brother's big friendly grin. Half way through she already started to smile.
I tried the same only to get a nasty why are you standing next to me look. And I'm not bad looking.
Seriously, I think minimalist pickup strategies are a winner take all situation.
Yeah, it's frustrating taking pickup advice from really attractive people. They just operate in a completely different league where a valid strategy is just "make noise until they look at you".
What's fascinating is how much 'attractiveness' is within your total control! And I won't even lump in being 'fit' into that. A lot of being 'attractive' is just being confident, and walking up to a person to let them know your intent ("Hi, I noticed you and thought you were cute.. my name is ...") is quite confident.
Your brother gave you some terrible pickup advice! It's a lot better to let your intent be known, rather than lurk around waiting for your bae to catch your stance. Standing behind someone and smiling may have worked, but I'd bet hard cash that he would be just as, if not more, successful if he approached her and introduced himself.
Since when has noticing people in places you visit frequently become such a threatening activity?
And btw, it was “Hi, I’ve been noticing you around campus, and I find you very attractive.”; which has a non threatening tone and gives off a completely different vibe.
I wouldn't say that. For many people (especially women), unwanted sexual attention from strangers is a problem. When in doubt, it is probably more polite to leave people alone.
What's the problem? If I see a woman I want to compliment, I have the freedom to compliment her. She has the freedom to accept, reject, laugh it off, or get offended, if she so chooses. But her possible reactions won't impede mine. Approaching a woman to let her know my 'intent' isn't 'unwanted sexual attention', and what is an example of that anyways?
> If I see a woman I want to compliment, I have the freedom to compliment her.
If too many people everyday have the same idea for the same person, it may become unpleasant for that person, even if each individual approach was non-obtrusive. (It's like if you meet someone with a funny name: even though it's harmless to point it out or make a light joke about it, you generally abstain because you assume that maybe too many people are doing it already, so it may become tedious. Same thing for someone whose physical appearance is unusual.)
My point wasn't about what you are "free" to do -- of course you are probably free to say nice things to people unless they tell you to leave them alone. The question is about what it is polite to do. (It's a bit like what XKCD says about freedom of speech: https://xkcd.com/1357/)
Suppose that people actually took your advice. Those desirable people, along with everybody else, would soon be lonely. In the long term, population would decline.
A compliment probably shouldn't be sexual. Just a simple "I like your hair" or "I like you " even (though not really a compliment) but with no further content.
Interesting question, but I would not that surprised if it did pass ethics approval. In some way, its no different from AB testing on a website/store/road/other public areas. The question that should be asked is if there is any harm caused, and asking how reasonable it is that someone gets psychological harm from the complement and the information that it was part of a sociology experiment with an opt-out choice afterward to not be included in the record. I recall that Mythbusters did several such experiments, like the "is yawning contagious" test.
Mythbusters doesn't have to go through university ethics boards. And I'd say that "yawn in front of someone" is considerably less intrusive than "proposition someone".
I've got to try this.