I hear you. I guess long form journalism has its place, but for me it's in the library next to the novels. When reading news I want to go straight to the point. In fact, I'd pay for an API that returns an array of news, and for each one the Five Ws (and 1H) [1] in a machine readable format, at most two sentences long.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Ws