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Dear FetLife (And Other Kinky People) (theferrett.com)
24 points by interdetermine on Jan 25, 2017 | hide | past | favorite | 9 comments



For a community that is supposed to be positive, respectful, n' the like...

This article kinda really really reeks of shaming and negativity.

And its got a bit of a forceful tone as well (your inaction makes it your fault! you are telling the big baddy trump that you want to have your stuff closed down, good work!).

I really don't see this being a practical or effective call to action. Encouraging people to speak up about something seen as shameful, seems more useful than shaming people to speak up about something seen as shameful.


I'm honestly not sure how you get that read. I perceived it more as a call to action. "It's not enough to do nothing" seems to be a damn valid justification given recent events. If too much of the special interest group is inactive, it greatly lowers its impact and damages _all_ of the group; you have the normal commons problem that many people often assume "someone else will do the work for me."

I think some aggressive calls to action in this space are really valid; the sex positive community, for as broad as I've found it to be, is often very closeted. (many "normal people" not in kink communities have privately shared similar sentiments to me but been afraid to "come out" as it were.) With a broader "this is who we are and this is our freedom to have the sexual lives we want as consenting adults" movement some of this stigma and shame may be dealt with.

As a broader statement, I do think political inaction is somewhat shameful, and seem to be in good company given such famous statements as "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"; an effective democracy hinges on participation, something that participation numbers in recent elections have left me candidly very concerned about.


I got that read via "[...] you probably deserve to lose access to FetLife.", "everything you do is a political act", "everything you do is a political act in bold", "You are saying 'please eradicate kink and make me unemployed'". etc etc.

Its shaming, forceful, and trying to use negative emotions (fear specifically imo) as a call to action.

I am not commenting on if the justifications are valid or not, just the tone.

I think aggressive, passionate calls to action are pretty great! However I don't feel that being a downer is the best addition to a call to action!.

Political inaction might very well be shameful, however it doesn't mean that shame must be seen as a point to capitalize on like that.


> "everything you do is a political act"

That's not shaming, and it's not negative. It's a simple statement of fact.


an "alternative fact" perhaps?


No.


The general problem with this kind of rhetoric is that it implies that sufficient action could have gotten something done, and I just don't believe that's the case.

If you don't have any idea what to do, it is not always better to "do something". Actions must be correct, especially in these cynical times.


I'm pretty sure that a single tweet from the most powerful (alleged) watersports enthusiast in the USA would be sufficient to resolve FetLife's troubles.


A good article pointing out that it is not enough to complain or be a keyboard warrior, but you have to take tangible action in order to get effective results. A bit firm, but needed as this is the first time I've seen this issue with FetLife raised outside of FetLife.




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