I've gone through this recently, and it's very difficult to overcome. I've read close to 50 books on topics like this, and some of the best advice I have gotten are from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Turn that ship around, Talent is Overrated, Flow, and The power of habit. These books provide mental models and frameworks that you can start using immediately to overcome this issue.
What I've found is most people look entirely at efficiency. They want to produce more with less, and this is their goal. However, this usually completely leaves out the value of the activity in question. What value is it that you contribute to open source? Do they provide a truly meaningful difference in your life currently, or are they merely passive participants that are means to an end for you? Do their values and goals match your values and goals? Chances are, if you answered yes to these, then you will not need much more motivation to give back to these groups. You will do it out of a sense of duty to your values and knowing that it will satiate a personal demand you have.
Now what can you do today without reading all of the literature in the world on the topic? Write out the eulogy you want told at your funeral 3 years from now. Seriously, turn off all distractions and think long and hard on how you want your family, friends, coworkers and connections to speak of you. Chances are through this activity you will begin to define some values that define your character. Hone in on these, and identify tasks that will relate to these values and drive them forward. Think of what single activity you can do today that will have the biggest impact on your ongoing well being, and figure out how you can turn that into a habit. After you start having small successes, you hopefully will begin rewiring yourself to start chasing personal victories as opposed to constant consumption.
What I personally found is that I tried to do things for the sake of doing things. I would create simply to share, and skip the 80% of the work that would actually provide me value. Sharing with the world is important, but if you don't go through personal growth while creating, sharing with the world becomes empty and you chase metrics and statistics. You will beginning acting out of need for validation as opposed to acting out of what's important to your values. The closer you can tie your values to your actions, the more satisfaction you'll ultimately get out of what you do. It makes it easier to prioritize tasks and see a week/month/year in the future and know that you're making the correct decision not just for present you, but future you.
There's a ton of crap advice out there on this particular topic, but there's a lot of good. If you start with the few books I listed above, note books that the authors reference and relate too. Create a list from these books on what to read next. Be ready to throw away old habits and models that no longer drive your life in the direction you want to go. Habits are reprogrammable, but the longer and deeper they're held, the more effort it will take. Most people reject this entire process because in the short term, you're more likely to be uncomfortable as things don't always work out. You may lose some productivity, or at least perceive yourself as losing productivity, but habits pay off much like compound interest. It's a long game, the payoff is built up over time. Be ready to adjust your parameters to improve the likelyhood that you meet the long term goals, but don't be afraid to see short term losses. The more legitimate experience you get, the quicker it will be for you to know when to cut your losses and move on. You can always reduce this by reaching out to people who may have been in your situation. You learn more from others failures then you do successes, so make sure you fluff their accomplishments, but don't be afraid to ask about what they "wish they knew". This is often where the real advice is.
That's honestly a great point, and I had to mull this over quite a bit so I apologize for the delay. I wrote that as a complete stream of thought trying to deduce what I've learned over 3 years, so it makes sense that I'd leave out what I felt is a critical detail:
Humans need validation. How much validation we need, and what the sources of validation are, in my opinion, are more important then the fact of getting validation. Inherently when you seek validation, you're seeking acknowledgement and reassurance. You get a solid boost of dopamine when you present something you've worked on for 6 months and you get incredible feedback. You get the confidence that you're now capable of becoming a world class performer after finishing up 4 years at Julliard and do your solo performance. You then renew this sense of confidence with every single performance that happens afterwards(if they all go well).
My viewpoint is that if you're only producing for the validation of outside sources, you're eventually going to get burnt out. If you're producing only for validation, at a certain point you're not going to get the validation you thought you deserved and it's going to be demoralizing. This shouldn't limit your growth, though for a lot of people it does. You're chasing a false sense of security by gaining validation purely from others, and what I intend to do personally is strip that dependency of validation from others as a predictor of my own happiness.
That's where having personal values and a guiding principle come in hand. If you have a set of values and goals and roles that you're actively working towards that is well balanced, with a set of refined habits you could get validation from within before you seek validation from the outside. This enables you to find joy in mindless activities like cleaning up the house, gardening, doodling and daydreaming, because you know that when you're not meandering you're likely working on something that directly reinforces one of your core values. You get the positive reinforcement simply through your own habit, leading to a happier mindset before you even begin to share with the world whatever you wanted too. Hopefully this will allow you to take feedback positively, and work towards a better goal. It lets you not get too attached to every thing you create, removes the hovering parent effect on whatever you're creating, and forces you to be a bit more objective.
TL;DR; Validation is a necessary component of human existence, but the source of validation can be altered so that you can find purpose from within as opposed to relying on the outside world for validation. This I postulate is an integral part of becoming an active producer.
Of course! And I would really suggest that if this is something of particular interest to you, to read some of the literature I listed above as a basis. I've had to adapt a large majority of what I read to my personal life, but it's been inspiring the see the results start to payoff.
What I've found is most people look entirely at efficiency. They want to produce more with less, and this is their goal. However, this usually completely leaves out the value of the activity in question. What value is it that you contribute to open source? Do they provide a truly meaningful difference in your life currently, or are they merely passive participants that are means to an end for you? Do their values and goals match your values and goals? Chances are, if you answered yes to these, then you will not need much more motivation to give back to these groups. You will do it out of a sense of duty to your values and knowing that it will satiate a personal demand you have.
Now what can you do today without reading all of the literature in the world on the topic? Write out the eulogy you want told at your funeral 3 years from now. Seriously, turn off all distractions and think long and hard on how you want your family, friends, coworkers and connections to speak of you. Chances are through this activity you will begin to define some values that define your character. Hone in on these, and identify tasks that will relate to these values and drive them forward. Think of what single activity you can do today that will have the biggest impact on your ongoing well being, and figure out how you can turn that into a habit. After you start having small successes, you hopefully will begin rewiring yourself to start chasing personal victories as opposed to constant consumption.
What I personally found is that I tried to do things for the sake of doing things. I would create simply to share, and skip the 80% of the work that would actually provide me value. Sharing with the world is important, but if you don't go through personal growth while creating, sharing with the world becomes empty and you chase metrics and statistics. You will beginning acting out of need for validation as opposed to acting out of what's important to your values. The closer you can tie your values to your actions, the more satisfaction you'll ultimately get out of what you do. It makes it easier to prioritize tasks and see a week/month/year in the future and know that you're making the correct decision not just for present you, but future you.
There's a ton of crap advice out there on this particular topic, but there's a lot of good. If you start with the few books I listed above, note books that the authors reference and relate too. Create a list from these books on what to read next. Be ready to throw away old habits and models that no longer drive your life in the direction you want to go. Habits are reprogrammable, but the longer and deeper they're held, the more effort it will take. Most people reject this entire process because in the short term, you're more likely to be uncomfortable as things don't always work out. You may lose some productivity, or at least perceive yourself as losing productivity, but habits pay off much like compound interest. It's a long game, the payoff is built up over time. Be ready to adjust your parameters to improve the likelyhood that you meet the long term goals, but don't be afraid to see short term losses. The more legitimate experience you get, the quicker it will be for you to know when to cut your losses and move on. You can always reduce this by reaching out to people who may have been in your situation. You learn more from others failures then you do successes, so make sure you fluff their accomplishments, but don't be afraid to ask about what they "wish they knew". This is often where the real advice is.