I can totally relate to this from both perspectives (being pissed off at someone, and trying to calm somebody pissed off) and seeing how both approaches work/dont work.
Not too long ago I opened a dispute with Ryanair about what I thought was quite obvious their own issue for which I should be refunded (I provided screenshots and everything). I've reached out to their customer support expecting to raise a simple issue that should result in a quick solution on their end. I was shocked to see their support behaving in a very defensive and completely dismissive way that resulted in a 2 hour long support case that didn't really fix anything (they still have the same bug on their website, and I was not refunded). These guys basically upgraded me from 'slightly annoyed' to 'never again will I fly ryanair' kind of customer.
In another case, I've reached out to an online chocolate vendor to point out an issue I had with their shipping carrier. I knew it was not directly the vendor's fault, but this being their only shipping method I figured they should be aware as it is a constant problem. These guys acknowledged my frustrations immediately and even offered a symbolic gift card as a way of apologizing for an issue that they can't really fix any time soon. I was generally happy to see them even acknowledging my problem, and in turn completely understood that this was out of their hands. I continue to be their customer even though the shipping is still a pain.
I also have a local ad to help my father sell some stuff he makes by hand. As its a hand made thing that he makes in large quantities, mistakes happen every now and then and I get complaints. I try to be understanding of every issue they raise and offer urgent refunds/replacements to anyone affected. Even though people get pissed off they didnt get what they expected, everyone responded much better if I used similar methods of de-escalation.
People are often (and understandably) very impulsive and rude when they feel they are being wronged. We should try to be more understanding of these emotions and work towards solving the issue instead of taking it so personally.
I’ve found, much to my chagrin, that anger seems to be a much better way to achieve what you want than being pleasant and diplomatic.
Cases in point: ecommerce retailer offers next day shipping, but nothing arrives. I chase. “Oh it’s out of stock”. “It said in stock on your site... i’ll have X instead”. A week later, still nothing. “Oh it’s in the post”. A week later, still nothing, still “in the post”. I ask for a refund. “Our policy forbids it.”
So I find the email addresses of the company directors and send them a blistering email full of threats and insults. I get a refund 20 minutes later.
Other case: company installs satellite dish on roof. Stops working very next day. Ask them to come back. “Thursday.”. Three months on they’re still saying “Thursday”, so I threaten court action in a blindingly rude phone call in which I call him names and belittle him. He turns up an hour later and fixes it, apologises.
When I ran my own business, I would always end up giving the shoutiest nastiest motherfuckers the most attention, to the detriment of the people who asked nicely - the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and most people will act to avoid conflict. I certainly do. I’m just as guilty.
I loathe this aspect of human nature, as it just generates unnecessary grief for all parties involved.
A society that refuses the carrot is doomed to the rod.
I've found that contacting directors and explaining politely, but bluntly, why you are upset at the service their employees are providing, works wonders. No need to be rude.
I was polite and pleasant in my first half dozen emails - but after several weeks of being ignored, the gloves came off and I got an immediate resolution. Many business owners don’t give a tiny damn about their customers, but all business owners care about legal embuggerances.
Ryanair allows you to change booking for a fee, as long as its not less than 5hrs before the flight.
Bug is that this feature is basically broken and I couldn't change the booking even more than 12hrs before the flight. The button for selecting a different flight does not work (you can search for different flights but cannot select one).
Because of this I was forced to book a different flight separately, which was more expensive than simply changing the existing flight.
Not too long ago I opened a dispute with Ryanair about what I thought was quite obvious their own issue for which I should be refunded (I provided screenshots and everything). I've reached out to their customer support expecting to raise a simple issue that should result in a quick solution on their end. I was shocked to see their support behaving in a very defensive and completely dismissive way that resulted in a 2 hour long support case that didn't really fix anything (they still have the same bug on their website, and I was not refunded). These guys basically upgraded me from 'slightly annoyed' to 'never again will I fly ryanair' kind of customer.
In another case, I've reached out to an online chocolate vendor to point out an issue I had with their shipping carrier. I knew it was not directly the vendor's fault, but this being their only shipping method I figured they should be aware as it is a constant problem. These guys acknowledged my frustrations immediately and even offered a symbolic gift card as a way of apologizing for an issue that they can't really fix any time soon. I was generally happy to see them even acknowledging my problem, and in turn completely understood that this was out of their hands. I continue to be their customer even though the shipping is still a pain.
I also have a local ad to help my father sell some stuff he makes by hand. As its a hand made thing that he makes in large quantities, mistakes happen every now and then and I get complaints. I try to be understanding of every issue they raise and offer urgent refunds/replacements to anyone affected. Even though people get pissed off they didnt get what they expected, everyone responded much better if I used similar methods of de-escalation.
People are often (and understandably) very impulsive and rude when they feel they are being wronged. We should try to be more understanding of these emotions and work towards solving the issue instead of taking it so personally.