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How do judges usually react to colorful language like that?


These quotes are from a PR response statement to the lawsuit, not any official court filing by Match.


believe a lawyer looked at them.


Sure, but the question was about how a judge would read them.


It's already been mentioned that this particular document was not for a judge, but if it had been it would probably depend on the judge.

Many judges treat legal writing as a form of literature, and like to use interesting or creative language instead of just sticking to a dry boring style. I'm sure such judges would not mind some colorful language in filings as long as it helps get the point across.

A good lawyer will know if they are dealing with such a judge and write their filings appropriately.

Here are some examples of judges deviating from dry boring writing.

Noble v. Bradford Marine, Inc., 789 F. Supp. 395 (S.D. Fla. 1992) [1]. The section titles in the opinion are "Hurling Chunks", "Like a Winged Monkey Flying Out of the Ashes...", "NOT!", and "A Schwing and a Miss".

Fisher v. Lowe, 122 Mich.App. 418, 333 N.W.2d 67 [2]. A tree was hit by a car, and the owner of the tree sued. Defendants won and plaintiff appealed. The appeals court wrote this opinion:

  We thought that we would never see
  A suit to compensate a tree.

  A suit whose claim in tort is prest
  Upon a mangled tree's behest;

  A tree whose battered trunk was prest
  Against a Chevy's crumpled crest;

  A tree that faces each new day
  With bark and limb in disarray;

  A tree that may forever bear
  A lasting need for tender care.

  Flora lovers though we three,
  We must uphold the court's decree.

  Affirmed
When West [3], published a copy of this case they kept to the spirit of of the judge's writing, and their summary was:

  A  wayward Chevy struck a tree
  Whose owner sued defendants three.
  He sued car's owner, driver too,
  And insurer for what was due
  For his oak tree that now may bear
  A lasting need for tender care.

  The Oakland County Circuit Court, John N. O'Brien, J.,
  set forth The judgment that defendants sought
  And quickly an appeal was brought.

  Court of Appeals, J.H. Gillis, J., Gave thought
  and then had this to say:
  1) There is no liability
  Since No-Fault  grants  immunity;
  2) No jurisdiction can be found
  Where process service is unsound;
  And thus the judgment, as it's termed,
  Is due to be, and is,
  
  Affirmed
 


[1] https://law.justia.com/cases/federal/district-courts/FSupp/7...

[2] http://kevinunderhill.typepad.com/Documents/Fisher_v_Lowe.pd...

[3] a publishing company that took copies of the public domain court opinions and added notes pointing out each important legal point in the cases, labeled those points from an extensive legal subject classification they maintained, and added indexes and cross references to the other cases in the same volume and in their prior volumes. This was in an era when everything was done with paper documents, not electronic.

People who grew up with electronic documents and networks might find it quite interesting to look into how legal research worked in, say 1970. They might expect it to be cumbersome, but it was actually quite reasonable, due to metadata companies like West and Shepard's [4].

[4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shepard%27s_Citations


They usually think nothing of it.




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