This immigrant didn't hear that overtone. What I heard instead was the chagrin of recognition. It's not only a lack of influential grandparents, but also the attenuation of communal bonds and instincts that comes with being poor, aggressively upwardly mobile, and originating from a traumatised and turbulent society.

Not praise, just a noticable difference in investment. If you are climbing out of poverty you focus on yourself and your family rather than integrating yourself in your community. For example, representing your school by being on a sports team is not something Asian families promote.

True, my parents are I were the only in our family to move to the US but we still had pictures of ourselves on the wall. Hehe.