Then hand out the ed editor to all your engineers who should be programming in assembly. If they're great they'll be just as good with all that, right?
Or maybe they'll bitch up to high heaven because doing that makes them slower. Engineers don't bitch about using shitty languages to be whiny Prima Donnas. They bitch because using shitty languages makes them slower.
People like to feel like they're getting things done. If they're using a language that looks like it was put together from newspaper clippings every step takes much longer than it does with proper tools. And that makes people mad. In fact, I would go so far as to say the ones who don't bitch are the absolutely terrible engineers because they must be doing it just for the billable hours.
Go find the most genius engineer you can in any other field and make him work with the crappiest tools you can find that he can still eventually get his work done with and see how well your assertion holds.
Presuming you're a great engineer that dislikes PHP, you'd take a crappy language and build hacks on top of it? Your great engineers would probably have better things to do with their time. Artificial constraints are great for creativity; for engineering, they're just time-wasting and your good engineers will go elsewhere.
(unless you're the single exception where your business is just that compelling...)
PHP isn't even a good compilation target. There's no native FFI (you can't write pure PHP code that makes arbitrary syscalls), the extension interface exposes extremely brittle guts of the interpreter, it performs very poorly (compared to, e.g., JVM bytecode), and calling user-defined functions to work around the stupid misbehavior of the builtins (e.g., == which isn't even an equivalence relation) is only going to make its performance worse.
Or maybe they'll bitch up to high heaven because doing that makes them slower. Engineers don't bitch about using shitty languages to be whiny Prima Donnas. They bitch because using shitty languages makes them slower.
People like to feel like they're getting things done. If they're using a language that looks like it was put together from newspaper clippings every step takes much longer than it does with proper tools. And that makes people mad. In fact, I would go so far as to say the ones who don't bitch are the absolutely terrible engineers because they must be doing it just for the billable hours.
Go find the most genius engineer you can in any other field and make him work with the crappiest tools you can find that he can still eventually get his work done with and see how well your assertion holds.