I see two possible paths forward.

The less likely is to read and internalize http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-sim... and realize how quickly you can reach financial independence at a reduced spending level (but one that still affords an amazing life). Buying time is the most valuable use of money, IMO.

The second is to stay miserable for a while, striving for something ambiguous yet out of reach, until you get older and this feeling fades.

Path #1 (or a variant) is probably healthier and happier.

Also I have mixed feelings towards recommending the Mustachian community to OP. FI might help quench a thirst for money, but it also might just augment or exacerbate the obsession with accumulating money.

Personally, I see this problem as more of a philosophical one. I can't offer answers, but as someone who also has to consciously fight off obsession with money, practicing mindfulness, living in the moment, and finding joy in relationships and other "free", meaningful things helps. idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If I am truly doing this, can that still be rationalized even when I am very underemployed?

While I won't bog you down on the details, I have a really patchy work history created by frequent layoffs. This created a lot of unemployment time, taking up about a quarter of my post-academic life. On top of that, I am very underpaid for a developer (~40% of the local average pay) so I often struggle making ends meet when I'm out of a job.

I feel pressured from many sides thinking of many possible solutions to choose.

In certain circles this is called creating an "abundance mentality," [1]. When you get rid of something that you're worried about not having enough of, it trains your brain to not worry so much about having the thing.

[1] https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-create-an-abundance-me...

So what do you want out of life? What would you do if you had a billion dollars? What would you do if money weren't a thing at all, and we all got to do whatever we want?

I would still create things. I'd write code. I'd design 3d models. I'd write. I'd climb mountains, and run on trails. I'd spend time with my family. I'd watch movies. I'd read books.

What would you do? Are you doing any of these things now? If you can identify these kinds of things, and let yourself enjoy them in the moment, you might find yourself not thinking about money for a little while each day.

I come from a heavily Buddhist culture that preaches disconnect from materialism, and I can truly say that it hardly holds. Please LOVE money, because no matter what anyone says, wealth gives you:

1. Independence

2. Confidence

3. Ability to solve problems by throwing money at it. This one's super important as we're heading towards a world where medicine is advancing enough to cure most ailments, even cancer and aids are likely to be cured in the next 30 years with the advent of Gene therapy and genetically customized medicine

4. If you actually have #1,2,3, your chances of finding love are higher, as you can devote some concerted amount of time towards finding love that many poorer folks don't have. Plus confidence & independence are attractive characteristics.

The only thing you should learn to modulate is expectations on how quickly you can accrue wealth. For the 7 billion that are alive today, there are probably a thousand billionaires, tens of thousands with hundreds of millions, a few million with <$10M and the rest are well below $1M in net worth.

So, statically, you're more likely to be in that <$1M net worth bracket, despite your best efforts. Happiness lies in knowing and accepting the likelihood of you ending up in the >$10M net worth bracket. It's low, but happiness can also be found in planning and executing a life towards that goal, while being aware of the low probability of getting there.

So don't give up your "greed" for money, but do give up your unreasonable expectations of getting rich quick. Be pragmatic about how rich you can get (best case, median case, worst case) and plan towards getting there

So I started college 4 years ago when I was 18 and at the same time I started my own startup. This was fine, but I focused more on my startup than on my social life. I grew tired of it and I stopped with both of my startups last year because I was just plain sick of it. I didn't enjoy being woken up at 5AM by a client that I want to strangle in the first place because he woke me up so early and that I have to be very nice to. That being the superficial reason why I quit. But I never really made any time to go out, meet new people, stay in contact with friends, etc.

Once I quit, I joined student clubs (not really like frats and the American stuff, but imagine those kinds of casual friends), invited people over, went out with people, organised parties at my place... I've honestly never been happier in my entire life. I went from solely focusing on my future career to putting my social life before that. This past week has also just been plain amazing and I wouldn't have experienced this week and the many good ones before it if I didn't prioritised what made me happy.

Prioritise what makes you happy, put old ideas out of your head (e.g. being afraid of what people think of you), and just don't overthink anything (still something I need to teach myself).

That's exactly the dangerous thing about it. I'm a minor hoarder of electronic components, and I'd probably be a pathological case if my wife didn't stop me. It's precisely the potential future usefulness that keeps me piling our basement full of old washing machine motors and garage-door solenoids.

I have found that feelings of needing to be successful (and dissatisfaction) often follow reading about the rich and famous. It goes like this...I lay in bed on a Saturday morning reading about other’s success on my phone then minutes later wonder what I am doing with my life. The connection now seems obvious.

I’ve concluded for me success is not about pursuing wealth but obeying Jesus’s teachings.

My advice to you is enjoy the fact you are currently rich. Find a better philosophy to build your life on or you will become richer but not necessarily any happier.

Freedom from having a boss? Not having to work? Fast cars? Flash apartments in trendy locations? Bragging rights? Feeling of "winning the game".

Ask yourself honestly will you still have some kind of obsession even if you made millions. Its a cliche the 70 year old billionaire businessperson still working their ass off.

In a nutshell get to know yourself and your motivations. Reflect.

I don't want a garage of Ferraris, McLarens or Lamborghinis. I want a garage of hot hatches, track cars, Caterhams, Lotus', fast coupes: a nice collection of "affordable" fast cars that I grew up aspiring to own.

[0] https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/02/22/getting-rich-from...

Try to get your self worth from something else. (Easier said than done in this society!)

This sounds very much like an addiction (coming). In such cases (obsessive behavior), there is usually no way other, than seeking for a psycho therapist, because the obsessive behavior, usually, develops in order to cover something else. A therapist has much experience with such topics and knows how to lead you to that point and through it. And then it's all work. Difficult, but very rewarding, since you realize, how much you respect and appreciate yourself for dealing with these things.

I’m in a somewhat similar situation, though mine is “greed” towards a very specific goal (financial independence, as in being able to completely stop working for the rest of my life with a very low chance of running out of money, which requires amassing $4-5M in my circumstances). Having that goal in mind, it makes me significantly happy when I get a raise and are able to sock away $150k instead of $120k into my investments accounts this year while keeping my living expenses fixed.

Even if I already make more than enough to comfortably sustain my living expenses now (I’m also in a typical $300-400k range for software engineers in Bay Area), I can easily say making more makes me much happier, because my goal date is approaching faster and I can quantify it in my detailed spreadsheet where I track contributions/returns/inflation for the future. I can get the gratification of seeing the date shortening by X years at every raise. That’s how I easily dismiss all claims that “money doesn’t make you happier”. Once I reach my number, which is already a conservative estimate, I won’t give a damn about making one more penny.

So, your greed might not necessarily be a bad thing if you can phrase it as a proper goal.

Quarters

--------------

"Maybe the problem is that I got involved with the wrong crowd of gods when I was seven. At first they weren't harmful and only showed themselves as fish, birds, especially herons and loons, turtles, a bobcat and a small bear, but not deer and rabbits who only offered themselves as food. And maybe I spent too much time inside the water of lakes and rivers. Underwater seemed like the safest church I could go to. And sleeping outside that young might have seeped too much dark into my brain and bones. It was not for me to ever recover. The other day I found a quarter in the driveway I lost at the Mecosta State Fair in 1947 and missed out on five rides including the Ferris wheel and the Tilt-A-Whirl. I sat in anger for hours in the bull barn mourning my lost quarter on which the entire tragic history of earth is written. I looked up into the holes of the bulls' massive noses and at the brass rings puncturing their noses which allowed them to be led. It would have been an easier life if I had allowed a ring in my nose but so many years later I still find the spore of the gods here and there but never in the vicinity of quarters."

Discover your true purpose in life by finding a way to contribute to society, whether through your own business or helping someone else realize their mission. Money is just a way of measuring how much you're contributing something of value to someone else.

Instead of concentrating on money, start asking yourself how to create something meaningful that will benefit the world, not how to earn more. You can feel good about having a positive impact on society, and the money will naturally come fair and square faster than you can track it. You will also enjoy every minute of it and it will become play instead of overexertion. What's most important, though, is that you learn the skills to always be able to make money no matter your circumstance. Be the absolute best in your field and you will be set for life.

The opportunities will always be there today, tomorrow, and in the next century. There are millions of undiscovered ideas that will make you rich. The more time you spend worrying, the less time you'll spend thinking about your next idea. Also, be willing to stay flexible in your plans in case big promising opportunities come along that you are not expecting.

Avoid comparing yourself to others, no matter what it is about. (Money, possessions, relationships, businesses, etc.) It will always result in you suffering and wanting more. Focus on your path and what's in front of you. Count your blessings before bed each day.

Study Buddhism and meditate to help overcome your insecurity. I particularly recommend lectures by Alan Watts on youtube. Life is a delicate balance and you may be spending too much time on work without rest. Work must be balanced with personal growth, family, community/friends, and entertainment. The more you focus only on your career, the more time it will take to bring balance back into your life.

Do you have a wife and kids to support, by chance?

If yes -> is this effecting them?

If no -> have you fallen on hard times before? Or has a family member and you were not able to help them out?

Money is far from one of my concerns in life. For me, I meditate, I read books, I enjoy friends, I enjoy making pour-overs, I enjoy walks, etc.

Maybe you just need to slow down a bit? While slowing down take a look at the things you enjoy and try to make a plan to enjoy them more.

The thing about money is that when you have it you want more, you won't ever have enough.

Have you watched "The Big Short"? Perhaps do and realize that as people make money others tend to lose money, jobs, houses, etc. From the movie for every 1% unemployment goes up, 40,000 people die.

We live in an era where almost everyone in the West has access to physical and social luxuries that go far beyond the lifestyle enjoyed by kings of the past. Louis XV of France spent his evenings in drafty old Versailles playing craps with the same old boring courtiers; we've got central heating, Netflix, boundless internet communities and $5 clothing delivered to your doorstep if you want. You don't need anything more than what you already have, and you're not going to be poor by any definition within your lifetime. Probably the best way to make that concrete is to start giving money away: charity is the easiest way to feel like a king.

1. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable feeling that you're not in control, that you're not making enough, that you're going to miss your one shot. This is the first step at reducing the anxiety of it.

2. Start to remove distracting consumptions. Social media, articles, news, etc. Spend time just being with yourself and appreciate the quiet. Put your phone on flight mode at night and charge it in a different room, get enough sleep.

3. Expose yourself to new perspectives. I have found the following audio books to be instrumental is figuring out how to be happier without greed:

a) A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy

b) Man's Search for Meaning

c) The Power of Now (I'm only about 1 hour into this one, but it's made me think)

4. Start a new routine to break the habit of your current ways of thinking.

5. Meditate to help you regain control of your reactions - become reaction aware.

6. Don't look for whole solutions, progress happens in tiny steps and just keep exploring new ways to approach how you feel, how you motivate, how you enjoy the today. Sometimes it's the smaller things that have more profound effects.

7. Start measuring your progress in years, derived by small daily improvements.

I appreciate the above advice might not be for everyone, but it's something I'm going down and enjoying it very much. You already reached a fundamental point, to bring out of your subconscious how you really feel. Now you can consciously reprogram how you want to feel. Well done!

I make 33k a year...

What makes me feel better is actually thinking about my goal. Day to day I'll get obsessed with the minutiae, but stepping back I realize I'm pretty easy going. I want to pay off my existing house, have the ability to cover by relatively simple costs until I pop my clogs, and have freedom.

You mention "your goal" - what is it, and why have you chosen it?

First thing would be to stop doing that! I mean, eliminate that totally from your life. Sounds like women feeling bad by reading magazines with gorgeous models in them. Why do that to yourself. Of course you feel bad, that's the idea.

Also understand that ultimately you are not in control of what comes into your hands, and at any moment things can completely explode. So try not to work for the sake of what you get out of it, but try and enjoy your work for work’s sake.

Ultimately if you proceed in this way, true understanding will fill the space that your unfulfilled desires currently occupy. And if you can genuinely devote yourself to that mindset, your desires will melt away and you will truly find what you are seeking in wealth.

Most of us don't want money for money. We want money so that we can get something else - a house, a car, a vacation, retirement, or an identity. From what you said, I suspect that you're in the last category - you want money because having money is going to make you someone - that is, someone special, not just some random schmuck. And money is just the way you think is easiest to get there.

The next question is, why do you want that? I mean, you could just say "Oh, I see why I'm obsessed with money. But there's better ways of being somebody than just getting a pile of money. Maybe I should go cure cancer or something." But the problem is, you won't be chasing a cure for cancer in order to find a cure for cancer; you'll be doing it to make an identity for yourself. And if you fail to find a cure, you'll still be a nobody, and it will eat away at you.

Why do you want an identity? I don't know you at all, but I do know a bit about people. I think that we're looking to love and accept ourselves. I suspect that you're looking for an identity because you don't really love and accept yourself. (And even if you don't want money in order to get an identity, I suspect that loving and accepting yourself is ultimately what you're looking for in whatever lies behind your desire for money.)

Why do we want that? As a Christian, I believe that we were made to know God's love and acceptance of us. If we don't have that, it leaves a hole that nothing else can fill. But the thing that comes closest to filling it is our love and acceptance of ourselves. The ultimate answer is to return to God, to know His love and acceptance of us.

Whether or not you buy the previous paragraph, I suspect that what you're really after is loving and accepting yourself, and that money is just a disguise (perhaps more than one layer of disguise). You need to address the real issue, or you'll quit money only to start obsessively chasing something else.

Rich people usually value time >>>>>> money, as time can never be recovered. Money can be lost and earned at any point in time in masses, and earning money is not hard. Every second and day you live you'll only experience once, then it's gone. And the time you live here is FINITE, thus inherently short. In the last 25 years (or however old you are), did you already do EVERYTHING you wanted on this planet? Are you ready to go?

These kind of questions should help you figure the "why" behind money.

But don't stay in a resort: find a high-rated AirBnB with a local host where you feel safe (all of those countries have very safe areas to travel through) and get to know the pace of life for a few days. Personally I find I need 10 days in one place to feel like it's familiar and I can start to understand the rhythms. Visit the local markets and restaurants, stay away from the multinationals like Starbucks and the tourist blackholes like Cancun.

I know for Americans time is valuable, but even a few days flying as far south as you can get will be insightful and energising.

I'm highly sceptical of it. If they're so happy, why so many of people in those countries make desperate efforts to emigrate to a developed country?

Why not just devote yourself obsessively to getting money?

Either you’ll get it and see what that’s like, or you’ll learn you don’t actually have sufficient drive to do it, or the right skills.

I mean everyone’s got to do something all day. Just make sure to have a set of ethics and values and continue to abide by them during this pursuit.

Try to define your life as what you are instead of what you have. Most happens inside, where you don't need so much money.

And expending less and winning a lot will help to fulfill your essential needs while having a meaningful life.

It is about being happy and putting an end to negative thoughts.

[1] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuit...

An then do some camping, near and far.

From my personal experience (which would depend on the geographical location and one's spending habits), that point is at about $100,000. In my 9-year career path I went from $40,000 -> $60,000 -> $85,000 -> $90,000 -> $100,000 -> $120,000 -> $120,000+. The change in general appreciation of the raise that happened below $100,000 felt substantial, it almost felt like it made me happier.

But once you reach the level where you can comfortably spend and save large portion of your paycheck, additional $n,000 starts to matter less and less. Sure, it's a good feeling to earn more money, but it doesn't define your happiness anymore. It's become a norm. So going from $150,000 to $200,000 feels so unfulfilling compared to going from $50,000 to $100,000.

The other thing to consider is comparing yourself to others. We all do that to some extent. But if it's an obsession then one will always be unhappy. The thing to realize is there will always be someone who makes more money and lives a wealthier life.

Here's how it goes - if you make $60k and live in an apartment complex there's some neighbor that makes $80k, and drives a newer BMW than you, has a bigger apartment and newer grill. Then you get a raise and make $100k, you buy a small house in a different neighborhood. Once you settle in you will start to notice that there are neighbors that have bigger house/drive Tesla model S, have bigger backyard. You get another raise and start making $200k, you buy a 2500 sqft house in a different neighborhood. There, a few neighbor(s) make $500k, and drive Lambos. Then you work hard, and you start your own business and it becomes successful, and you start pocketing in $500k, and buy a Lambo yourself, and also move to a beachfront house. Then there're beachfront houses that are bigger than yours, and some neighbors have 5 supercars. Then your business grows, and you start making $2M a year, and you upgrade your beachfront house to a bigger beachfront house, and buy 5 supercars. Now there's a neighbor that has a few luxurious villas in different states and internationally, then there's another neighbor that has a private yacht, and another one that has a private jet. There's another one that has 3 private jets, then there's another one that owns a football team, and so on...you get the point.

Chasing specific amount of money that would make you happy will ultimately leave you unfulfilled because in comparison to other people there will always be someone who makes more.

Of course, there are exceptions to that like - Zuckerberg, Gates, other billionaires - but being a realist how likely is one to become a billionaire in a lifetime. I mean, if that's your ultimate goal - good luck. But something tells me most billionaires didn't have a goal in mind to become a billionaire, it wasn't their primary focus but rather a byproduct of their success and passion.

The situation I've found myself in exactly the opposite of yours, in the sense that money, wealth, and the things that come with it, haven't been motivating aspects of work for years, almost to a problematic extent. I still negotiate numbers for new prospective jobs, but only on principle. I won't let a regular company or startup underpay me.

I'm 26 now, but between 19-22 I was exclusively focused on career progression and money. I'd put work before my relationships—romantic and social—and everything I did was framed by how much I was spending or making. The short version of what happened since then, is that I was laid off, then fired, fired, and fired again. After the final time, which was a corporate job I wasn't culturally suited for but offered me the most I've ever made as a developer (~$75000) I was in a position where I now had an apartment and bills to pay for. I was also burnt out and uninspired. Up until that point I had a network that helped me find other positions, but not this time. I had to go through the hellish interviewing process. After many unsuccessful attempts and well over a year of being unemployed, I stopped trying. This was because I realized that I had to make some changes and that I was abusing my time and sanity for companies I didn't care about, but that paid well. I was also in no position to be picky about anything, being out of money and with no prospects. So I focused on my social life, started traveling, living in my car, attending conferences to see what I'd find stronger interests in, etc. Now I only get this weird feeling when I think about money. I look at the amounts new grads can pull in at notable companies and I think something's broken. Why can't I care about this enough to compete for it? These people—and maybe you're one of them—are making literally more money than I will ever make, but it doesn't drive me at all. To get to those positions, I'd have to find a progression of deep interests that I can navigate instead.

Anyway, I'm now being paid roughly $30/hour CAD to work on an open data portal based on python for a uni. I'm doing it remotely, so I can travel around the U.S and explore while doing the work. It's interesting and pays me barely enough to get by, but I don't resent what I spend my time on. I'm somewhat actively interviewing with select companies as well. Expectations are low but it's good to stay sharp. It would be nice to have savings, and hopefully one day I'll find myself in a better position in that regard. But right now I've managed to drag myself out of the other end of the unhappy hole.

Incidentally it also forced me to take up some miscellaneous low end jobs like Starbucks barista and manual labor which was a nice change.

Maybe quitting and exploring other avenues of life while not thinking mainly about work or money is what could spark a change for you.