I agree with you, but I don't necessarily see a conflict between someone "teaching" me (what a guru basically is: a teacher, in a way) and other facets of their personality.
I've had many teachers that were superb at imparting their lessons while living with the foibles and flaws of being real people. You take what you need from the teacher and move on.
An example in popular culture: someone like Bill Cosby, who I am sure influenced countless people to be better people. Well, it turned out that he had major problems (to put it mildly!). Does that negate the "lessons" that he imparted in another aspect of his life? I would argue no.
I know you aren't negating this argument in your post, but I just wanted to say this and chose your post to glom onto! :)
With self help, spiritual and health people I have decided only to listen to people who live their own teachings. I have seen famous yoga teachers talk about the benefits of yoga while popping large amounts of Ibuprofen daily because their practice injured them.
Same for some gurus who outwardly are serene and friendly people but their ashram is a dictatorship that terrorizes and manipulates people. There is also a lot of sexual abuse going on. Ram Dass himself did questionable things.
I think bad behavior negates the teachings or at least diminishes them by a lot. How am I supposed to know something works if it doesn't work for the teacher?
Unfortunately there are only a few authentic gurus and teachers.
“There is a false saying: “How can someone who can’t save himself save others?” Supposing I have the key to your chains, why should your lock and my lock be the same?”
There’s a recorded conversation between Ram Dass and Terence McKenna during which Ram Dass says, “My life is my message,” and McKemma replies, “My message is my message, my life is a mess!”
That conversation is absolutely brilliant and, in combination with the Going Home documentary, is what got me probing deeper into Ram Dass' message: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ih4Fg6P730
I've had many teachers that were superb at imparting their lessons while living with the foibles and flaws of being real people. You take what you need from the teacher and move on.
An example in popular culture: someone like Bill Cosby, who I am sure influenced countless people to be better people. Well, it turned out that he had major problems (to put it mildly!). Does that negate the "lessons" that he imparted in another aspect of his life? I would argue no.
I know you aren't negating this argument in your post, but I just wanted to say this and chose your post to glom onto! :)