I’ve been witnessing a masterclass in this at work lately. One of the faculty I work with has a habit of jumping in on people when they’re talking. One of our new faculty simple refuses to spot when the other person jumps in—-just simply keeps taking over the interrupter. Doesn’t speak up, doesn’t alter their cadence, simply continues to talk. It’s amazing.
this is a VERY hard thing to learn, but I am trying it. Sometimes it just requires more concentration and determination than I can muster. Also the person doing the interrupting will occasionally accuse YOU of interrupting them. I hate feeling bullied by interrupters so I am constantly working to master any and all tactics for shutting down what I see as this rude/disrespectful/disruptive behavior.
What's the problem with just politely saying, "Can you please not interrupt?"
I'm assuming this option has already been exhausted and didn't have any effect.
I've worked with people who prefer to apologise all the time instead of changing their behaviour. When you bring that up they... apologise and move on.
Do a God of War on them: "Don't be sorry, be better". Apologising comes quite naturally for a lot of people, because apologising is easier than changing unwanted behaviour.
I've become aware of that recently because of reasons, and I think it's all right to not just drop it after someone apologises. It's all right to not accept an apology if the underlying behaviour isn't changed.
If a problem continues to be a problem after having some polite conversations about it, then it's time to take the conversation to managers. It's then the managers' role to find a solution.
If it keeps being a problem after that (only in an extreme minority of cases would this be true), then yes, I'd transfer or look for a different job.
But engaging in a war of talking over each other is just stupid and immature. I have kids, so I guess I prefer the workplace to consist of adults acting like adults.
This.
Imo, this passive aggressively skirting around the issue is just giving one some petty satisfaction. Chances are likely the the interrupter isn’t aware. Tell the person not to interrupt bluntly if that’s your gripe.
Flashbacks of my ex-wife. She would go ballistic if she thought I was interrupting her, but she would cut me off all the time and just half-heartedly apologise afterwards. She had turned into a massive bully.
Second this approach. If someone interrupts, just keep talking. Do not back down before the interrupter stops. Think of it as a conversational filibuster :-)
If both parties keep talking it will get awkward for everyone in the conversation. This is what you want, as it will lead to immediate understanding that an interruption happened and that it's not OK. You can calmly discuss afterwards that you were interrupted, and after a few occurrences even those with only a modicum of social awareness will get the message and change behaviour. And peer pressure can then help those stragglers.
I actually think this is more aggressive - simply raising a finger or saying “if you don’t mind I’d like to finish my thought” seems to be perfectly adequate in most situations
