I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such tough times.
If you still have issues with alcohol use I strongly suggest you check out an Alcoholics Anonymous (https://aa.org/) group near you. Give it a chance, it will likely be very helpful.
About depression/emotional pain/suicidal thoughts first of all it would be very good to see a professional (doctor / psychologist) about this, they can help you. You may also talk to a friend if you have someone you feel you can talk to.
Try some daily activities that occupy your mind and/or body for a while: reading, running, walks in the park, workout in the gym, yoga, prayer. Whatever you can do.
You don't have to face everything alone, it's ok to ask for help.
If you still have issues with alcohol use I strongly suggest you check out an Alcoholics Anonymous (https://aa.org/) group near you. Give it a chance, it will likely be very helpful.
About depression/emotional pain/suicidal thoughts first of all it would be very good to see a professional (doctor / psychologist) about this, they can help you. You may also talk to a friend if you have someone you feel you can talk to.
Try some daily activities that occupy your mind and/or body for a while: reading, running, walks in the park, workout in the gym, yoga, prayer. Whatever you can do.
You don't have to face everything alone, it's ok to ask for help.