This isn't something I'm just making up. You can read the Wikipedia article[0] about it, as a starting point, or dig further into transactional analysis or the Karpman drama triangle.[1]
I don't want to turn "victim" into mean something bad—rather, as you've made pains to point out, victims have legitimately bad things happen to them, and that's... bad.
Holding onto that pain in the long run is bad, too. It's not about the "initial reaction"—of course fear and anger and whatnot happens! It's about whether one reifies and adopts those initial reactions as a worldview, or whether one places the event in context, learns the appropriate lessons, and moves forward.
I mean, do you think the following views of the world are good and healthy for people to hold?
- that their lives are a series of challenges directly aimed at them;
- that most aspects of life are negative and beyond their control;
- that because of the challenges in their lives, they deserve sympathy;
- that as they have little power to change things, little action should be taken to improve their problems.
I don't want to turn "victim" into mean something bad—rather, as you've made pains to point out, victims have legitimately bad things happen to them, and that's... bad.
Holding onto that pain in the long run is bad, too. It's not about the "initial reaction"—of course fear and anger and whatnot happens! It's about whether one reifies and adopts those initial reactions as a worldview, or whether one places the event in context, learns the appropriate lessons, and moves forward.
I mean, do you think the following views of the world are good and healthy for people to hold?
- that their lives are a series of challenges directly aimed at them;
- that most aspects of life are negative and beyond their control;
- that because of the challenges in their lives, they deserve sympathy;
- that as they have little power to change things, little action should be taken to improve their problems.
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_mentality
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle