I've thought about it, but that would just be another expensive bill that I have to pay. I'm not sure I can swing that now with my kid's medical issues and my wife's legal issue.
Please reconsider therapy. If your wife won't engage in couple's therapy, then please consider therapy on your own. You sound depressed, and you are providing reasons to not bother taking action to be not depressed. I am worried by that.
Sometimes, yes. But you're assuming a result. Divorce is not the goal. Improving your own satisfaction with your life is. Hopefully, that will not lead to divorce, and that's the goal of couple's therapy.
There are some skills that will help you a lot in your situation. I learned them from a book called Nonviolent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg. My therapist recommended it. I hope you will try reading it.
She doesn't just pursue hobbies. She turned one of her hobbies into income (tennis teacher). She uses almost all that money for her hobbies like dressage (she saves a tiny amount).
She refuses to learn how to do most chores, like shopping or cooking. She doesn't have the technical mindset/background for others, such as handyman, mechanic, or yardwork stuff.
Okay, so at least she is earning income. But it isn't really a good situation if you work 8 hours and she works 8 hours, but then you also do 4 hours of housework per day and she does zero. There are a million mindless tasks that need to be done regularly in a house...putting dishes in the dishwasher, cleaning a bathroom, folding laundry, that takes zero learning.
She does 3 chores - most of the dishes, most of the laundry, and vacuuming. And she still won't get that stuff right. So there is some learning involved.
She consistently ruins the seasoning on the cast iron because she insists on using scotch-brite on everything (plastic, glass, enamel, etc). She asks me to do the laundry if there are stains or if I need to pre soak the whites. Otherwise she always does it cold water with soap only and they come out dull or still dirty. And she insists on using the 2" vacuum cleaner tube to do the vinyl floor. It would be sooo much more efficient to just run it over the floor normally (won't hurt this floor).
She also has a tendency to break things and expect me to fix them - like it's not her problem. I even have to tell her stuff like keep the dog on a leash. Now I have to take care of a bunch of legal stuff for her (side not is that the officer wrote it up incorrectly or it would just be a fine).
Isn't one of the points of getting married to work as a team and make each other's lives easier? In my opinion she makes my life more difficult. I swear I'm the only adult in the house.
