Yes. I'm about 35 and I've been depressed for the past 20 years. I now have a relatively high paying job in a startup working remotely from a house I own in a forest. That was my dream, and it's great when I think about it.
But I live alone and I have no friends IRL. I've been practicing social distancing way before it was cool, and like most people it's affecting me. I've been alone without friends or lovers in major cities for most of my life before so the isolation with or without people around is not new.
Before covid I used to go to a few festivals or camps every year and do environmental activism regularly, and that'd keep the loneliness at bay, although the connections with the people I'd meet were superficial and short lived.
Being into environmental activism means that I don't see the current world situation in a very positive way to say the least. And my job, while high paying, offer no meaning at all to my life. But it pays for everything else and that's great. I've traveled without money for a couple of years before and it was great, but I prefer the security money give me in the capitalist society I'm trapped in.
I think about suicide a lot, but I'd never do it because of how it'd affect my parents and sibling, they are great and don't deserve that. I also like to live a life of contemplation in the forest and hacking stuff and following new scientific discoveries, it's just the craving for intimacy and companionship that ruins everything. Maybe when I get older I'll learn to fully let got of it, it's already a bit easier that a decade ago.
I guess the answer is probably to talk about all of that to a therapist, but I've been trying for years to make myself see one without success for now.
But I live alone and I have no friends IRL. I've been practicing social distancing way before it was cool, and like most people it's affecting me. I've been alone without friends or lovers in major cities for most of my life before so the isolation with or without people around is not new.
Before covid I used to go to a few festivals or camps every year and do environmental activism regularly, and that'd keep the loneliness at bay, although the connections with the people I'd meet were superficial and short lived.
Being into environmental activism means that I don't see the current world situation in a very positive way to say the least. And my job, while high paying, offer no meaning at all to my life. But it pays for everything else and that's great. I've traveled without money for a couple of years before and it was great, but I prefer the security money give me in the capitalist society I'm trapped in.
I think about suicide a lot, but I'd never do it because of how it'd affect my parents and sibling, they are great and don't deserve that. I also like to live a life of contemplation in the forest and hacking stuff and following new scientific discoveries, it's just the craving for intimacy and companionship that ruins everything. Maybe when I get older I'll learn to fully let got of it, it's already a bit easier that a decade ago.
I guess the answer is probably to talk about all of that to a therapist, but I've been trying for years to make myself see one without success for now.