I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I suffer from clinical depression and did for years before I got help. I wish I had done it sooner.
Please get help. If you are in the US and feel like you are in a crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.
If you are not in a crisis, try calling 211. This number should direct you to your state's information and referral system. You can get referrals that way. Calls are anonymous.
Please get help. If you are in the US and feel like you are in a crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.
If you are not in a crisis, try calling 211. This number should direct you to your state's information and referral system. You can get referrals that way. Calls are anonymous.
Like others, sending good vibes your way.