Hey, young fellow. Your chances are probably better than you think, if my experience is any indication, but your approach may be way off.
1) Start lifting weights. Helps boost your confidence and your T levels, making you more attractive.
2) If you do not yet practice the rudiments of grooming, do so. Shower every day, shave, comb your hair. Make sure your clothes are clean and you don't smell.
3) The key to engaging with women is: when you encounter a new one, always be kind to her and treat her with the basic amount of courtesy and respect due another human being but no more. Avoid fawning over her, no matter how cute or hot you find her. Keep it in the back of your brain that she's just a woman, just a human, and may be as messed up as you are if not more so. Hold the door open for her, help her load her groceries, or whatever -- then disengage. If you get a smile or thank you, savor it. A smile or thank you from a pretty girl is a tiny gift, and we accept gifts graciously and appreciatively without hoping for more.
It's kind of this weird tension. You can't give off "looking for a date" vibes. If a girl is to any extent cute she will know it, and she will be able to use that to control the interaction if you seem too desperate. The vibe to cultivate is basically pleasant, but somewhat aloof. Make her feel like she has to work to prove herself to you. If she's at all interested, she will put in the work. You've gotta do this with multiple women, keeping them in your friend circle while not giving off thar you want to get closer -- that is not until they signal they want the same (and they will in unambiguous terms!). And it may take years to get there. Anyone who tells you finding a good partner is quick or easy is selling something.
"When you encounter a stranger, be pleasant but aloof. Disengage."
To
"Keep women in your friends circle"
Without mentioning how to get from A to B. I mean, how to actually befriending them in the first place, which is probably one of the biggest hurdles and stumbling blocks for most people here who have the same problem.
I.e. Women who are single, available and are my friends are represented by the empty set.
Asking your non-single friends to introduce you to single friends doesn't accomplish anything, since they might talk about doing that, but it'll never happen (I've seen it multiple times)
That was the case even when I was going out regularly, before the pandemic... Since unfortunately most of my social interactions are in groups heavily biased towards male representation.
The only way around that, as I recognize... Is to get different hobbies. But it's not that simple to get yourself to start liking a new thing (and spend multiple hours every week on that!) If you have
1 - A job draining most of your energy
2 - already happily spending time on hobbies that you enjoy.
"Thankfully" the pandemic solved the gender bias problem regarding the friends that I regularly meet... Since now all in-person friend interaction over several months can be counted on your fingers
(Btw, now I'm in a LDR... Which is definitely not ideal, but at least helps a lot with loneliness)
Well, I can't over state how reassuring this sounds. My perspective is warped by social media, and even though I stopped using them (to a certain extent) A brief foray into someone's feed is enough to leave me depressed for the day.
That's another thing: SM is BS. The smiles, the #BestLife, the couples vacation posts all about how #blessed they are to have each other... all of those are masking deeply unfulfilled people and failing relationships about half the time, give or take. A lot of them are just straight up narcissism -- roleplaying at having everything to an audience.
1) Start lifting weights. Helps boost your confidence and your T levels, making you more attractive.
2) If you do not yet practice the rudiments of grooming, do so. Shower every day, shave, comb your hair. Make sure your clothes are clean and you don't smell.
3) The key to engaging with women is: when you encounter a new one, always be kind to her and treat her with the basic amount of courtesy and respect due another human being but no more. Avoid fawning over her, no matter how cute or hot you find her. Keep it in the back of your brain that she's just a woman, just a human, and may be as messed up as you are if not more so. Hold the door open for her, help her load her groceries, or whatever -- then disengage. If you get a smile or thank you, savor it. A smile or thank you from a pretty girl is a tiny gift, and we accept gifts graciously and appreciatively without hoping for more.
It's kind of this weird tension. You can't give off "looking for a date" vibes. If a girl is to any extent cute she will know it, and she will be able to use that to control the interaction if you seem too desperate. The vibe to cultivate is basically pleasant, but somewhat aloof. Make her feel like she has to work to prove herself to you. If she's at all interested, she will put in the work. You've gotta do this with multiple women, keeping them in your friend circle while not giving off thar you want to get closer -- that is not until they signal they want the same (and they will in unambiguous terms!). And it may take years to get there. Anyone who tells you finding a good partner is quick or easy is selling something.