I was a kid, maybe 12 when I fell into a deep pool.
After a wave of profound panic, time slowed and I found myself able to think and did that method.
Worked.
When I got out of the pool, I rested for a very long time, just staring at that blue sky, my mind quiet.
I felt both detached, like I was not really here, and profoundly aware, senses tuned to the max, vivid.
Slowly, it all came together again, and the emotions washed over me, I wept.
Processing that event took a long time. I can tell you the will to thrive is something I cultivated.
The rest is sort of fear of fear. We need fear to survive and respond, but we also need to be present and for me it is a sort of detachment. Like a cold, do what I can core comes up and is in charge, until later, danger past.
A near car accident saw a similar thing happen much later in life, time slows and thought is action.
Like, nothing else matters. And to a person in those moments, maybe that is true.
While I write this, it may seem cool, or a boast.
It is not either of those. I feel messed up, like thrashed and it is all very unpleasant. Sometimes I feel like I should not be here, or that I had help, or got super lucky, or it was just not my time.
It will be. What then? Will that state not take hold, leaving only fear to remain?
All that said, yes! I have taught that method to others, just in case. I have no idea what compelled me to do it that day.
After a wave of profound panic, time slowed and I found myself able to think and did that method.
Worked.
When I got out of the pool, I rested for a very long time, just staring at that blue sky, my mind quiet.
I felt both detached, like I was not really here, and profoundly aware, senses tuned to the max, vivid.
Slowly, it all came together again, and the emotions washed over me, I wept.
Processing that event took a long time. I can tell you the will to thrive is something I cultivated.
The rest is sort of fear of fear. We need fear to survive and respond, but we also need to be present and for me it is a sort of detachment. Like a cold, do what I can core comes up and is in charge, until later, danger past.
A near car accident saw a similar thing happen much later in life, time slows and thought is action.
Like, nothing else matters. And to a person in those moments, maybe that is true.
While I write this, it may seem cool, or a boast.
It is not either of those. I feel messed up, like thrashed and it is all very unpleasant. Sometimes I feel like I should not be here, or that I had help, or got super lucky, or it was just not my time.
It will be. What then? Will that state not take hold, leaving only fear to remain?
All that said, yes! I have taught that method to others, just in case. I have no idea what compelled me to do it that day.
Why are some of us not so compelled?