after many many years of similar dread I came to this conclusion: I have been 'dead' for the past 13 billions years give or take, but then I have been incredibily lucky and won the 'consciousness lottery', that is, for a brief amount of time, just a flickering spark, I know what reality is, I experience what the Universe is, and carbon life on a still beautiful planet (hopefully we'll steer in the right direction), this to me outweights most of the fear... think how incredibly rare is conscious life, and you got super lucky to be aware of it, and yes the ride will end, but what a ride compared to a lump of carbon floating in the endless void forever. We are lucky.