I've been finding Signal Music Studio[1] to be doing a good job of conveying theory with minimal notation and practical examples. E.g. less labeling of things and more "here's what folks like to use this construct for". Not quite a book, and maybe not as comprehensive as you're hoping.
I'm going to go in a slightly different direction and recommend starting with a book on music history. There will probably be enough theory in there, as it's needed to explain many developments. And then, don't try to study it, but start out by just reading it as a narrative.
Modern college textbook writers are doing a decent enough job of not focusing strictly on classical music. You could find out what your local university uses.
