Just spread your cheeks as you go to sit down on the toilet seat, and you can rest your elbows on your thighs. Mechanically it is like squating. I barely have to wipe if at all sometimes, and I don't have that great of a diet.

And have a different diet, probably

Nice thing about evolution is that if everyone keeps eating plastic for a few centuries, eventually we'll evolve to digest it properly.

Of course most will die at first. But that's a price evolution is always willing to pay.

Will we evolve, or will our gut bacteria evolve first?

Regardless, I am now picturing a future where evolved humans find the smell of plastic appetizing.

Also a good way to solve gun violence, if you're very patient.