It's not just a VC thing. There is a greater delta if you didn't grow up in this particular US culture.
As a German (15+ years in the US) formerly in SF now in Seattle I see big discrepancies in what I perceive as genuine feedback from coworkers or the general public compared to what I'd expect back in Germany.
Of course VCs go even farther to keep all doors open. That to me is more of the same I observe from most folks.
Reminds my previous job as a PM, where I had to deal with many nationalities. Germans were always: Yes/No, this is good/this is crap instead of 'well, you know,it depends,and it could be improved, considering everything it's not too bad'.
Very accurate. Trying to explain to people this is cultural and not my individual personality is a tough sell though.
It's a bit tiring having to praise things you don't believe in to provide honest feedback. In German culture the strong separation between work persona (with a shared mission on behalf of the company / shareholders / customers) and personal life makes it pretty easy to be straightforward at work. People don't define themselves by their job unlike in the US (or certainly SF) where one of the first questions may be "what do you do (for work)?".
From my perspective US colleagues overcommit (say yes to too many things) but don't ask enough detailed question to design solutions that can be of high quality. I'm not surprised you'll find Germans frequently saying that something is crap :D Germans tend to be cautious upfront, asking many questions (to understand scope and to mitigate risks). This often seems unnecessary to the visionary leaders, but a tactician will understand the importance for execution. Nothing wrong with saying "No, we can't do that. But if we reduce the scope, or change this or that we could deliver something."
In the end there are many cultural differences that are subtle but profound. Invisible to either side and usually expressed as what appear to be individuality / personality differences. It takes a lot of experience to understand which elements must be attributed to culture.
I don't agree, and think that the distinction between polite encouragement and the enthusiastic affirmations of VCs is important to understand if you're going to engage with startup fundraising. There is something specific and unintuitive going on in these meetings, and people from Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, and Tulsa are routinely caught out by it.
I don't disagree with you, it's just that I find your comment to downplay the significant baseline cultural difference of which you may or may not be aware (I don't know what culture you grew up with). This is something to which OP had referred but your comment essentially had been dismissive of by attributing this entirely to differing behavior of VCs compared to baseline US culture.
A founder from a different cultural background seeking funding or advice from US VCs must understand the baseline US culture and then how to interpret VC behavior relative to that culture.
EDIT: To provide a specific example: What is considered polite encouragement to a Californian comes across as very strong / enthusiastic encouragement to a German. Polite is relative to culture. Initially people unfamiliar with the culture may take the words of the random Californian or the VC at face value - both appearing equally enthusiastic observed this way.
1) VCs want to keep the door open for later by not outright saying "No.", since there's no incentive for them to do otherwise.
2) VCs follow the herd (need social proof), so they will often wait for that area to blow up, or wait for another VC will be the "lead."
3) VCs today would rather be late investors after the concept is proven and they can move hundreds of millions of dollars around to get even more hundreds of millions.
Also note that VCs like to imply that they have integrity, but that's often not true:
1) They've had meetings to collude against YC (documented in the press.)
2) Silver Lake Partners revokes employee shares if you leave before 4 years ("In it to win it.") (documented in the press.)
