Some people just take good pictures.

My sister was voted best looking at Redwood High School. The same school our governor graduated from. It was a hugh graduating class.

When she was younger, people used to tell her she should be a model. Well after watching Brook Shields endlessly she decided to give it a try.

She got my dad to fund a professional photo shoot. Something my cheapskate dad never forgot about.

Anyway, I always thought my sister was ascetically very pretty.

I thought she was a shoe in.

Well we got the photos, and it was a huge no.

While being literally breathtaking in person, so didn't photograph well.

Years later, I was with her husband while he went to a modeling addition. Every applicant's picture was taken at the door with a Polaroid.

I asked a photographer why. He stated some people just don't photograph well, and without that picture we would be wasting time.

Anyhoo--Personally I have never liked being photographed. Why--because I'm homely in life, and pictures just confirm it.

And then what? You score the date and rely on your awesome personality to make up not only for being physically disappointing, but having to some degree lied about it via a professional portrait photographer's tips and tricks?

And if all that works, you found someone who liked the look of a fake/augmented version of yourself, but whom you persuaded to like the real self anyway... Congratulations?

I think sometimes having a foot in the door helps anyways. Of course grossly misrepresenting yourself is a bad idea but enhancing a bit, why not? Also, it is indeed possible that your potential partners may value other aspects besides your appearance, not everyone is obsessed with looks. But of course your mileage may vary depending who you met in your life, and also based on where you live / local customs etc.

Then there is the issue of how you perceive yourself, when I was in my 20s and 30s I used to think of myself as not attractive, but now when I look back at my old photos from a more detached point of view, I think I was a fairly attractive young man. Excessive self criticism can be bad and artificially put you down.

After entering a "serious" relationship and then getting married in my 30s I was able to look at myself in a more balanced way. I think my previous self-criticism was fuelled by some vague fear that I would never find a partner and I would live a lonely life. Probably it's a common thought among people of that age.

I'd like to underpromise, but overdeliver - that's my motto!

Ditto

Think of it more like ignoring job requirements when submitting your resume. Once you get an interview, that's all that matters.

Or rather, lying on your CV, claiming you meet the requirements; having someone who knows all the tips tricks and buzzwords edit it for you?

But hey, once you get an interview!

> having to some degree lied about it via a professional portrait photographer's tips and tricks?

Those tips and tricks are no different in kind that what people do themselves, the only difference is knowledge.

> And if all that works, you found someone who liked the look of a fake/augmented version of yourself, but whom you persuaded to like the real self anyway... Congratulations?

Let's not act like first impressions have no meaning, and that getting around them doesn't have benefit and allow other traits or a more accurate impression to come through that wouldn't have gotten a chance otherwise.

Haven't you ever become friends with someone that you disliked or avoided to some degree initially because of some bad first impression?

It depends. If you have a good few textual exchanges that show you to be engaging, they may forgo some facial appearance shortcomings. So if the other person engages with good looking ones but those disappoint in their conversation but you do well in conversation, getting your foot in the door with the good photo of yourself could make the difference.

Sometimes people with good looks fail to cultivate other aspects of their person. An average looking person can take advantage of that by developing these other areas. But... you need that first opportunity.

There a few cognitive biases that can assist. People can become more attracted to someone simply by learning the other person was attracted to them. Also, the more time you spend with someone, the more attractive they will become.

Eventually, we’ll have glasses that can apply everyone’s preferred filter in real time