As a person with disability, I have a chunk of experience when it comes to being patronised. I can tell you one thing: the giving end usually does not realize they are patronising. Either because they are too conservative to grok the concept at all, or too dumb to realize they have to treat others as equals if they dont want to come across as full of themselves. Usually, if I confront them with their actions, they react like you just did. "Oh no, not me, you are wrong, and you need to change."