Probably but not necessarily. Don't aspire to be most software engineers if you don't want to get paid like most software engineers haha.
I'll add a data point. I live in a 90 COL index city(I don't live in a 90 area though) and will clear >300k this year total cash comp at a non-FAANG company working remote. Earlier this year I had a 200k base salary offer for a staff full stack eng role at a startup(that just raised a bunch of money). The money is out there.
Agreed, there are plenty of people, clearly, that are doing significantly better. My data comes from my own experience, and it may vary. I have been in management, and with that I had access to comp information for a variety of engineers in our organization located at offices across the U.S. I also have a network of former coworkers and friends throughout the Pacific Northwest and we share (roughly, not specifics) how we're doing for comp.
I'm getting old enough to worry about ageism myself (mid-40s) and my total comp is just a bit over 200K this year. That's not bad for Portland, but when I see the numbers tossed about on HN it makes me want to take Facebook up on their interview requests. Probably amount to nothing, but I'm thinking I really ought to open up and start renewing my interview experience before it gets any harder.
I have some general advice and that is perception is reality. Starting with the resume and focusing on outcomes and value add actions taken, to talking the talk in interviews for the next position. Adopt patio's mindset. I'm not a "programmer". Programming is one tool I use to create value for the business. I have other tools and perhaps the most valuable of which is my mind; decision making.
Anecdote; I am leaving my company for smaller pastures but I turned down that staff pos I mentioned. I'm starting at a new place but was a bit lazy during the interview process with selling myself(was only talking to a couple places and was going to take time off if I didn't find a place I was interested in). Got low balled, maybe under leveled, and took the job anyway haha. I'm a staff full stack at one company worth 200k base, but perhaps not here. Perception is reality.
P.S. I'm also just really lucky in many regards. I got really early(just after high school) resume and business thinking advice from a good friend who is an MBA, for one.
I'll add a data point. I live in a 90 COL index city(I don't live in a 90 area though) and will clear >300k this year total cash comp at a non-FAANG company working remote. Earlier this year I had a 200k base salary offer for a staff full stack eng role at a startup(that just raised a bunch of money). The money is out there.