Yeah, it feels to me that Apple went too far with their anti-stalker provisions. I believe much of the problem could be eliminated if there was some sort of central filter to the alerts. Phone says to the filter "I see an unknown air tag ID# xxxxx". So long as there is another phone that says "I see a known air tag ID# xxxxx" no alert is triggered. Only when no device claims the tag as known would the phone speak up.

So long as somebody nearby knows the tag it's almost certainly either someone with you or someone simply moving in the same direction and nearby. If it has been planted you'll find out when the planter moves away from you.