IDK what I have exactly but it’s some combination of Aspergers and ADHD. I can mow through a lot of tasks and projects. When it comes to research or exploring some big problem domain, I can do that really well.
If people leave me alone and give me some wide berth to go complete some massive project I can do that fine. Better than fine. I can do projects that 15 people together can’t do, by myself.
I typically am able to develop an extremely accurate prediction of the future from the base technology up to the market.
However.
At this point in my life, it isn’t a matter of “if” I am going to get into severe interpersonal problems and fights with co-workers it is “when.”
What has helped me is to have a small group of friends who I use to improve my decision making quality. Left to my own devices, I misunderstand and misinterpret people and this leads to war in many cases.
I can’t read peoples intentions, I don’t understand peoples motivations, I can’t understand what “normal and expected behaviors” are.
Once I get pissed off at someone, I stay pissed off permanently. That person is “dead” to me. This is apparently typical of people with Aspergers.
My favorite analogy is this: “normal people have a wide variety of tools ranging from soft to hard in their toolbox. People with Aspergers open their toolbox and all they have is a hammer.”
That is exactly how I feel. Once I lose my composure, I only have a hammer to solve the problem.
This leads me to become highly paranoid. When people start annoying me or infringing on me, interfering with my ability to work on my own terms - I start building resentments.
I get along really well with older people who have calmed down. Mid career managers and I do not have a great track record.
My career has been a nightmare. A lot of great parts. The number one thing that protects me now is having a panel of advisors who have normal brains. Without these advisors, I am literally wandering blind through the land of the humans, unable to understand them.
On the surface I often look and act normal, underneath the hood I am a genius and a mess. Working in the modern workplace has been a nightmare. I have come to realize that people like me don’t get to “win” in corporate. Sooner or later, they figure out what I am (different) and it’s over. Highly discriminatory against people like me.
My idea of heaven now is not to be promoted, but to be left alone to pursue my interests where they align with the corporation.
I tend to have a very massive positive impact at companies where I work. My ideas, creativity, research and insights result in massive wins. But other people always get the credit, never need. I am so misunderstood, it’s my lot in life. I don’t expect to ever have my abilities respected, noticed or rewarded.
Not sure why you are getting down voted… your post was quite vulnerable.
There were a couple interesting tid bits in what you wrote, but I will refrain from arm chair diagnosis.
I am glad you have some supportive friends, we all need that. You might also consider seeking out professional support. Finding a good therapist is tough, but when you do, it can be life changing.
I agree with you overall, it was definitely a very "raw" and vulnerable post.
I wasn't one of the downvoters, but I think those "couple interesting tidbits" might be the reason for downvotes. People aren't comfortable reading someone's delusions of grandeur, even if they might be true. It is just off-putting to hear someone very confidently proclaim "under the hood I am a genius and a mess" and "my ideas, creativity, research and insights result in massive wins. But other people always get the credit". The post can easily be interpreted as a "oh woe poor me, I am a super productive genius who turns everything he touches into gold, but people like me never win the corporate game because the system is rigged" type of a humblebrag that is not being entirely truthful.
Again, even if it is actually the truth, it just leaves a sour taste. Probably because all of it seems like just shifting the blame onto everyone else and going on a rant that can be boiled down to "I am a misunderstood genius, but everyone else gets the credit every single time for every massive win I get for my company, because great winners like me just never get to win in corporate, the system is rigged".
This is quite out there and is something a lot of people with some heavy overestimation of their abilities say. Because to them it seems like they are "losing the corporate game" due to them somehow being discriminated against for their ingenuity and smarts, and not due to their actual lack of ability coupled with massive overconfidence in their ability. After all, as the famous quote says, if everywhere you go you see assholes, you might be the one who is the asshole.
I taught myself to code and built several applications with millions of users. I have switched careers multiple times and risen to upper 1% in each area rapidly.
Last year: My total income was about $2 million.
The numbers say my intelligence is unlike anything normally found, but it comes with some disability. I work 7 days a week. My mind never rests. You wouldn't enjoy being me :)
My dad once told me: His tested IQ was 145+. Everyone in my family has similar stories. Photographic memories, Each of my family members has independently found a way to make millions of dollars. Its atypical intelligence profile.
People generally tend not to like me, and it happens quickly. My facial reactions, emotional game and how I open conversations: People don't like it.
That's why I didn't downvote or dismiss it. It is entirely possible that those things are saying are true, and I believe you.
I was talking about the overall manner of how you said it being something that puts people off, not necessarily the content. Like, even if the content is legitimate, the tone just makes it all sour. I am not trying to be mean or attack you, but your last reply was kind of a perfect example of what I am talking about.
If you figure out how to work around the "people don't like me and how i converse with them" issue (which imo is just a lack of social skills, regardless of whether it is due to neurodivergence or not), you are gonna become legitimately unstoppable if you combine it with the rest of your skills/intelligence.
I hear you, definitely good points as well. It doesn’t come off well which I think either gives credence to
a) douche canoe
b) neurodiverse
I have some experience with this, picked up on some clues and ran with option B.
It’s kind of odd, but personality and intellect feel a bit like a zero sum equation. The more truly brilliant a person, the more likely they have trouble ‘reading the room’. Obviously there are exceptions and it isn’t so simple, but I have seen it play out more often than not.
I was eventually diagnosed with Aspergers late in life and I can relate a lot to the sentiment in this comment.
(I'm not as talented as 'aspergersadd' but usually came up with good technical solutions for companies I worked for - however my interpersonal relationships and ability to deal with workplace stress and emotions were a disaster)
Great managers understand the strengths and weaknesses of people and set them up to be as beneficial as they can be, not everyone is a great manager. Not everyone needs a great manager, but you do.
You do seem to be doing a pretty good job of understanding yourself, keep that up. Try to figure out how you can expand your skills at navigating yourself and the world.
Send me an email if you’d like, not at the moment but I’m occasionally in the position to find and hire great people.
I'm much earlier in my career and I think I am running into the things you talk about. I want to learn from your experience. Can you DM me? (Email in profile)
If people leave me alone and give me some wide berth to go complete some massive project I can do that fine. Better than fine. I can do projects that 15 people together can’t do, by myself.
I typically am able to develop an extremely accurate prediction of the future from the base technology up to the market.
However.
At this point in my life, it isn’t a matter of “if” I am going to get into severe interpersonal problems and fights with co-workers it is “when.”
What has helped me is to have a small group of friends who I use to improve my decision making quality. Left to my own devices, I misunderstand and misinterpret people and this leads to war in many cases.
I can’t read peoples intentions, I don’t understand peoples motivations, I can’t understand what “normal and expected behaviors” are.
Once I get pissed off at someone, I stay pissed off permanently. That person is “dead” to me. This is apparently typical of people with Aspergers.
My favorite analogy is this: “normal people have a wide variety of tools ranging from soft to hard in their toolbox. People with Aspergers open their toolbox and all they have is a hammer.”
That is exactly how I feel. Once I lose my composure, I only have a hammer to solve the problem.
This leads me to become highly paranoid. When people start annoying me or infringing on me, interfering with my ability to work on my own terms - I start building resentments.
I get along really well with older people who have calmed down. Mid career managers and I do not have a great track record.
My career has been a nightmare. A lot of great parts. The number one thing that protects me now is having a panel of advisors who have normal brains. Without these advisors, I am literally wandering blind through the land of the humans, unable to understand them.
On the surface I often look and act normal, underneath the hood I am a genius and a mess. Working in the modern workplace has been a nightmare. I have come to realize that people like me don’t get to “win” in corporate. Sooner or later, they figure out what I am (different) and it’s over. Highly discriminatory against people like me.
My idea of heaven now is not to be promoted, but to be left alone to pursue my interests where they align with the corporation.
I tend to have a very massive positive impact at companies where I work. My ideas, creativity, research and insights result in massive wins. But other people always get the credit, never need. I am so misunderstood, it’s my lot in life. I don’t expect to ever have my abilities respected, noticed or rewarded.