What killed Debian for me was when doing an upgrade of Apache and PHP it automatically restarted Apache temporarily without PHP configured, then the upgrade of PHP failed and left Apache running completely without PHP support for a while until someone noticed, and Apache happily kept serving .php files as text/plain during this time.
A package manager should in my opinion leave daemon stopping/starting to the administrator, as they know their configuration better than any package manager ever can.
Yes, and I'm sure you could in 2013 when this happened as well, but it comes enabled by default and I learned not to enable automatic upgrades on Debian derivatives instead.
These days we mostly deploy our stuff using containers anyway, and for my own personal machines I've just switched to Arch Linux since.
A package manager should in my opinion leave daemon stopping/starting to the administrator, as they know their configuration better than any package manager ever can.