I actually have two, but the terms of their adoption require that the full extent of the victory be confined indoors. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for a kneading cat-doughnut on a cold day.

The country folk solution's a Victory .22 and a bored child who can aim OK.

Or literally a Victory air rifle..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B9bMqnjv2RE