I think I hear you, in that often sometimes these conversations bring up very deep foundational conflicts?

What I've seen is that sometimes the simplest of arguments, when both sides continue opening up, can reveal some existential conflicts within us. I think one of the main conflicts we fight is actually opening up too much and showing too much of our humanity (or our perceived inhumanity).

So yeah, some of these conflicts might go deeper than we want and nudge/force us to confront things we've been trying to avoid. It's something I fear in resolving conflict with people, I like to keep going and sometimes people will say to me "that's enough!" and cut it off, and I think it may relate to them pushing up against those biases/conflicts as you've mentioned.