The thought of my parents moving closer to me just invoked a very mild panic reaction in me, which is a good indication of why I've chosen not to be near them.
Even though my mom and I talk almost daily, I like having my parents a comfortable distance away. For mine, 6~10 hours is ideal. Too far to make a car trip frequently, not far enough to justify a plane flight.
I drive to visit them often enough to keep them away from where I live.
So far, only 4 visits in 9 years. Still too many, but manageable. :)
My wife and I have 4 married children and two very new grandchildren by our 2 daughters. Every second weekend we try to catch up with one of the families - 3 are in one city 90 minutes drive away and other family is 2 hours away. We are cognisant that we are probably able to be more flexible (that said my widowed MIL is ill and needs some extra attention at the moment). My own parents aren't the easiest to deal with so while I do keep in contact it can be quite stressful. My sisters are 1000+ KMs away. The reality of family life isn't trivial.
Exactly. My parents aggressively saved for retirement and are quite comfortable where they live even factoring potential future inflation, but there's nowhere within a couple hours of Seattle/SanFran they could afford to live.
I think you miss the point. Trite as it may be, it's not about owing your parents anything, it's about having little time left to spend with them, which is awful if you love them. If you don't want to see them this tweet is not for you.
You missed _their_ point. If seeing you is so important why arent they on the hook for at least 1/2 of the visits (more so if they're rich and retired, ie it costs them relatively nothing).
Yes the author should do what he wants to do that maximizes his life utility (ie, go see them instead of doing lesser things). But also there's something about a relationship where the other person refuses to come to you, can't make the effort to travel, buy the plane tickets, or whatever their excuse is.
Though I most always travel to see my mother, one way she helps mitigates is she frequently buys my plane tickets. She won't fly, but if I'll make the time, she'll bear the cost-- so there's definitely can be negotiation... but if someone will only see you on their convenience, and your expense, I'd rethink the value of that relationship
You don't owe it to them to spend your life living close enough to see them weekly. (or insert schedule you like).
If they want to see you or your children, they could equally move to be close or visit. And sometimes Parents do just that!