Fun question! I would suggest the following (in no particular order), subject to the proviso that you do need to be sat next to them to help manage frustration, especially in the beginning (although my personal take is that they shouldn’t be left to play by themselves at all at that age) - particularly as they learn the controller, general video game conventions, and the specifics of each game:
- Breath of the Wild
- Animal Crossing
- Stardew Valley
- Minecraft
- Super Mario Odyssey
- Super Mario 3D World
- Rayman Legends
- Ratchet & Clank
- It Takes Two
- Slay the Spire
- Journey
- Spiderman and Miles Morales
My son’s favourite superhero - far and away - is Spiderman, in large part thanks to the PlayStation games. Pretty great role model. Kids find swinging through the city utterly exhilarating.
It Takes Two was such a fantastic, memorable experience for both of us - he still talks about it months later. It does require quite a lot of a kid, though - better for when they’ve got a year’s experience.
And trying to catch all the insects and fish in Animal Crossing kicked off a passion in him for the real things, to say nothing of what it taught him about animals generally, time and seasonality.
A Nintendo Switch is probably a good place to start, although as he gets older I’m encouraging him to move more over to the PlayStation (partly because it’s so much cheaper over time!).
Switch Joycons are great for small hands, too, although most kids seem to be able to manipulate a full-size controller by age 4-5.
I also recommend the Switch to begin with. The one that can be hooked to a TV - children will throw stuff to the ground, by mistake or purposely. You'd rather have them throw the control pad instead of the full console.
While I love Breath of the Wild to the death, its combat is rather difficult and somewhat realistic from the start, which might be a turnoff ("scary monsters keep killing me"). It also has lots of written dialog, which may be challenging for a 4 year old. Definitively this one has to be played with an adult.
Super Mario Odyssey is a much better intro game for a 4-year old. It also has combat (complex combat, with all the "possessed enemy powers"), but it introduces all its mechanics extremely gradually (starts with one-attack button, on a safe environment, and builds up from there). The game works well without paying attention to the dialog at all. The cartoon looks is also more child-friendly. At 6 years old my son can do air tricks with Mario that I struggle to do. It is a jewel of a game.
Animal crossing is fun. I worry a bit about the "materialistic/accumulative" parts of it ("gotta have more stuff!" here's an ice-cream shop stand that does nothing) but the insect and fish collection things are great. Again it will require some reading in order to advance.
I have not played Slay the Spire myself. Isn't that too "brainy" for a 4yo?
Oh I forgot to mention: Picu-nicu is a great "my first platformer" game, definitively recommended.
Is It Takes Two about a married couple and their struggles? Isn't it made for couples? I could be wrong. What is that like for a child? Did it spark a lot of questions about marriage or anything else? Or did the eyes of a child ignore any adult themes and he only cared about the gameplay?
In our case, the adult themes went straight over his head and we just enjoyed the (frankly terrific) team-driven gameplay. The art style is very cutesy in a way that seems to appeal to kids, and there’s no swearing in the dialogue.
Ymmv, though, this stuff is highly subjective. If you’re particularly concerned then better just to stick to Nintendo first-party stuff - their whole brand is built around keeping everything wholesome.
At young ages, I say give them an old-school Nintendo, or N64 etc. Little/no advertising, monetization of your kid's attention, whatever. If they're not on the web or at school yet, they won't even know they're missing out on more modern systems.
Or some similar setup where there's no online, no monthly charge, no pay-to-win, and instead the child gets to play a carefully crafted game, hopefully an awesome one.
I also think (offline) minecraft is great at that age.
Agree completely! My 6 year old thought the original Wii is the pinnacle of gaming, even told me to treat the controllers gently since he's gonna pass it on to his kids, and they will pass it to theirs - that seemed so obvious to him.
Of course, a few months ago his "girlfriend" down the street got a Switch...
Cuphead is absolutely the best game I ever played with my kids. This is one of the only games that allows you to play together with your family/friends offline. No screen split. I haven't seen such a gem for many, many years.
Cuphead is the game that can easily inspire people to become game developers.
Fun fact: the entire game was hand-drawn. The authors took the inspiration from the cartoons of 1930s.
The Freddi fish games by Humongous Entertainment are really great at that age. They are simple point and click adventures by Ron Gilbert with fun characters and a lot of interaction on the screen. Easy to get for cheap on Steam or sometimes in bundles and I've been impressed with how quickly it developed puzzle solving skills with my nephews.
Once the child is a bit older, the Pajama Sam serie is also great.
Spelunky HD! Easy to understand and control, terribly difficult to master. I started my oldest on it when she was 4 and she beat it for the first time around age 6. Now she tears through it like a ninja master. She also enjoyed Bit Trip Runner 2 when she was 3-4 yrs old.
I have tried a lot of stuff, and I believe Lego Marvel Super Heroes (or other similar Lego games) are absolutely perfect for a small kid. There are infinite lives, and you can play co-op where you can do all the hard stuff while they enjoy the ride. Eventually they will learn by seeing you do stuff, and they will learn and want to do it too. It is truly amazing, a very forgiving game for a 4yo.
As a side note, my son learned this using a fight stick, since "move the stick in that direction to make your character go to that direction" is easier for them to comprehend and associate than using a dpad. Also way easier to hold with hittle hands.
In general, most Nintendo made and published games tend to be great for kids of all ages. Captain Toad Treasure Tracker for problem solving, Mario Maker 2 for dexterity but also once they get comfortable with the game they can make their own levels and express themselves, Legend of Zelda Link's Awakening for the same reasons the above person noted Breath of the Wild. Switch Sports is great for getting your kids into sports that you might not normally have access to (like volleyball).
My then 8yo daughter who is behind in love with horses saw me riding a horse in botw. Zero experience with video games she picked it up and spent six months working at it so she could get a horse.
Completing shrines so she could get enough stamina to tame the horses.
I’ve found that the same games I was playing around that age are actually still fun - Commodore 64 games. Basic, non-distracting graphics and simple joystick controls make things easy for young kids.
