Maybe you're trying to be helpful or perhaps virtue signalling, but do you seriously believe "joining an exercise group" can cure severe loneliness? We are talking about lack of deep connections to any other human. The type of shallow connections you make in those places is not going to help anyone with real loneliness. Which is a lot more common now.
Sort of agree though I would argue "joining an exercise group" is a healthy way to create shallow connections with the aim that one or more of them becomes deeper. Finding deep connections is difficult and requires significant effort from at least one party. You have to work at it. And attempts to create shallow connections shouldn't be dismissed because you generally can't try to create deeper connections in isolation and separately from trying to create shallow connections.
The difficulty of growing a shallow connection into a deeper connection is a large part of why so many people are lonely. We can't just ignore shallow connections because it's unrealistic to only ever aim for deep connections. Connections are experiments that grow.
yeah like where do people expect deep connections to form from? are they supposed to spring forth, fully formed from the swipe of an app? no! they take work and time and effort and form from shallower connections.
To make deeper connections, you start with shallow connections.
In school you made friends by first going to the same school so you were around each other long enough to become friends.
It’s the same with anything else. You have to consistently be around people long enough to get to know them well enough to make deeper connections. Inviting them to grab lunch sometime. Go to a movie. Play poker, bowling, golf, etc.
Certain exercise groups are exactly like that. Cross fit groups, F3 groups, etc. They are very social.
Groups that have a schedule and regular attendees are the easiest place to start. At first, you’re going to be the new guy but the longer you attend the more comfortable you’ll be. You have to stick to it.
Probably one of the biggest reasons we see more of it is how much people move around for work, away from their established family and friends. Deliberately solving this is hard since you will always feel like an outsider in a new place.
When I was depressed and lonely after a couple years living in LA, I spent a year or so hanging out with Herbalife "health coaches" at the beach. We would play dodgeball, exercise in the sand, then go to a nearby venue and drink $5 protein shakes while they tried to get us to join the MLM scheme. It was a positive experience, despite the connections being mostly shallow. I also lost 40lb and could do 100 pull-ups in a day.
I moved to Bali over 1 year ago, knowing only a single person in the entire island. Now I have dozens of good friends there. And a handful of them I consider really good friends with whom I have a good connection with and shared very intimate and vulnerable moments. These relationships keep growing overtime the more time we spend together.
Some friends I've met at the gym, others were my neighbors, others at BBQs, others at an acting class... The list goes on.
Maybe out of topic, but socializing is a skill. And it's sad some people associate socializing with = people pleaser. Learning to socialize is learning to engage with others and put yourself out there. Whether you do it staying true to yourself or not, that's another thing.
But going back to the main thing: Deep connections don't happen out of thin air, and not without effort.
These expat enclaves are a bit of a fantasy world. They attract like-minded outgoing people eager for adventure and making new friends who all happen to have one big thing in common: they’re Westerners in a foreign land. You’re playing on easy mode ;)
(I imagine some might balk and say that's not the type of group that interests them, but it does seem clear that at least for some, an exercise group does help form these connections.)
To add to what others said, you will get social skills there. Being lonely for a long time makes you loose social skills. It makes presence of other people very tiring and difficult.
Starting with a shallow place where you can observe how others interact and relearn basic conversation and interpersonal skills help incredibly a lot.
