It's a great article, but is not the way that I have worked.
I'm a bit "spectrumish." I'd make a great hermit. I don't really find a need to have close relationships.
One thing that I've found in any relationship, is that a "power dynamic" changes things a lot. Most romantic or working relationships have a "power dynamic," where one party has some kind of leverage over the other, or that one party gets more from the the relationship, than the other.
This isn't necessarily bad (after all, we get married and have families all the time), but I feel that it adds a different "color" to the relationship.
Most of my closest (male) friends are ones that I don't have a "power dynamic" with. We usually have drastically different vocations, and don't really need each other. We generally have common interests (I suggest that volunteer work is a great thing), but find each other's company enriching and interesting.
// Most romantic or working relationships have a "power dynamic," where one party has some kind of leverage over the other,
This is a very weird way to think about it. Something I realized after I got married and bought a house and had kids, is that I love it and none of it would be possible without my wife. Likewise, she couldn't have any of this without me. We are partners.
If we wanted to look for power imbalances, we could find them. Like, we could obsess over who makes more money, or does more child care, or who had a greater impact on our selection of where we live etc, but that would be a very weird thing to put front and center. Much more importantly is that both of us are willing to put a lot into the relationship and consistently get even more out of it, enabling us to lead deeply meaningful lives together.
Got it in one. I’m pretty weird. I assume that my friends, acquaintances, and others, are also weird, as I read about that, in some book (can’t remember which one). It was one of those “Things that make you go ‘hmmm…’.” things.
But if it makes you feel better to call me “weird,” knock yourself out.
Maybe I'm just weird in the same way as GP on this, but I think power imbalances are important to be aware of in friendships, and it's tricky to be friends with someone who's far above or below in a hierarchy that is a very important part of your life.
I'm a bit "spectrumish." I'd make a great hermit. I don't really find a need to have close relationships.
One thing that I've found in any relationship, is that a "power dynamic" changes things a lot. Most romantic or working relationships have a "power dynamic," where one party has some kind of leverage over the other, or that one party gets more from the the relationship, than the other.
This isn't necessarily bad (after all, we get married and have families all the time), but I feel that it adds a different "color" to the relationship.
Most of my closest (male) friends are ones that I don't have a "power dynamic" with. We usually have drastically different vocations, and don't really need each other. We generally have common interests (I suggest that volunteer work is a great thing), but find each other's company enriching and interesting.