> building more non-romantic relationships with women.
I completely agree; I've always preferred being friends with women, but in my opinion it's not easy to do.
Things sometimes get complicated quickly if there's attraction on either side which often happens to at least one side if you're close friends. Even without romantic feelings, things get weird/awkward if either party is in a relationship or married.
I wonder if we can learn something from homosexual people in this. I don't often see gay guys cutting off their straight friendships because they're one-sidedly attracted for example in the same way straight men swear off any woman.
I think the crux there is that there isn't the potential mutual attraction.
For me, it would be much harder to develop feelings if I knew that there couldn't be attraction.
For a straight man it is probably just as easy being friends with a gay woman as it is a straight man, because in both cases there won't be mutual attraction. Conversely as a gay male it would be easy being friends with straight women or straight men -- I think that's where you see the stereotype of gay men with many friends who are straight women.
Well that's the thing, I don't generally see lesbians claiming they can have no lesbian friends, or gay people claiming they can have no gay friends, either. They seem to be able to be more emotionally mature about managing their attraction such that they don't need to cut themselves off from their attracted gender like some kind of addict.
Complicated doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm in this situation now and it's basically ruining my life. Or maybe it's ruined already, because I see no possible way out -- not even just ending the friendship.
Not only is the friendship very close, but inextricably linked with far and away my favorite activity in the world. One that has brought by far the most joy to my life, and one that I have given up a lot to pursue.
I don't even know how I could have predicted or avoided it, either. At first glance, I never would have guessed I would end up feeling any attraction to her at all. In actual fact, what I ended up with are feelings I could have never even imagined I was capable of feeling for someone (I'm 40).
The only thing I could have done differently, I'm afraid, would have been to make damn sure to never get so close to any woman at all.
As much as you can, relax. These things go 100x better when you’re relaxed. Whatever method you use to destress, do it. A lot. I’ve found that all social/romantic situations will flow better if I can build some mental “distance”.
I completely agree; I've always preferred being friends with women, but in my opinion it's not easy to do.
Things sometimes get complicated quickly if there's attraction on either side which often happens to at least one side if you're close friends. Even without romantic feelings, things get weird/awkward if either party is in a relationship or married.