I have also come to believe this. It's something that emerges in the moment - the moment of crisis, or the moment of need. You don't see it day-to-day, usually.

I suspect it's over-represented in populations like nurses and firefighters. It's sometimes easier to see who doesn't have it - the people who "stay out of it" - those bystander effect exemplars who nonetheless remain nearby recording on their phones.

I think that the no-heroism-gene group might've been what really sensitized me to this.

After seeing a particular incident as an adult, when I saw people not help even when it was begged for, and it was even their job... I started having a strong teary-eyed emotional reaction whenever I did see heroism specifically. After a few times of that reaction, I realized it wasn't due to a powerful moment in a movie or children's cartoon that prompted it -- it had started happening coincidentally after having been gravely disappointed by the no-heroism-gene group. Exactly why, I don't know, but we seem to have some strong wiring related to giving and expecting help.

I did this for a friend once--housed a friend for 8 months during the pandemic--and it turned out they were just using me and deepening their addiction.

I don't really believe in caring about people anymore.

I argued against that conclusion, but I lost.

I did this for a friend once too, for a year and a half. My friend had been running backpackers, and lost the business (and their place to stay) fast and unexpectedly when the building it was in was sold to a hostile landlord. It paid off. He's back on his feet.

I see people like investments; in cases like this, I didn't want to profit in the classic sense, but I did want to see my friend succeed, and I knew my friend had it in him. All I needed to do was provide a roof over his head for a bit.

I'm sorry to hear you had a negative experience here. There are success stories out there though. In the end, its about taking the right risks for the right people.

I'm sorry :(. I guess that's why it's hard, because it doesn't always turn out right. This person probably did thousands of drives in their life and only ONE of them led them to that feeling.

It's definitely something that can be trained and improved with practice. The brain needs to switch from thinking "Is this a situation where I can actually help? Do they need help? What if I mess up? What if it's a scam?, etc." to "I'm helping, how do I help?". It's easy to freeze and let the opportunity to help pass by, but once you start it's much easier to continue.

I remember an interview from an old LARP camp director (Brennan Lee Mulligan, although I forget if it was his podcast or another one) who recalled the nurses helping out at the camp saying LARP was surprisingly good training for first responders because it gives kids practice with running towards the people who need help instead of away from potential dangers.

> I've wondered where that comes from, nature or nurture. And how common it is.

Altruism is deeply embedded in all men, because it raises our chances of securing a mate. Nurture probably has some degree of an effect, but it's one of the most basal instincts.