I've been doing an experiment on reddit to reduce its emotional impact on me, which is to hide all points. I was inspired by HN's approach of not showing you other commenter's points.
It works quite well. I'm much more true to myself and get into fewer combative situations. I bet it would reduce complaining to mods on HN as well. The site could still use points exactly the way it does behind the scenes, but users would be less concerned about their own status.
I used this method on reddit myself. It's just a userstyle, so I turn it off occasionally, but it makes it a voluntary action I have to turn back on if I want to see it.
Helped out, I think. Along with carefully practicing not escalating and picking when to just not comment.
It works quite well. I'm much more true to myself and get into fewer combative situations. I bet it would reduce complaining to mods on HN as well. The site could still use points exactly the way it does behind the scenes, but users would be less concerned about their own status.