Thank you for being vulnerable (to the the extent that you were being) with this post.
My two cents, I deeply agree that "everything has a cost" but I don't find that most unambitious people make a conscious trade off.
Most unambitious people I know aren't doing anything with the time and energy they are "saving". They are just kinda passing/wasting it on things that don't satisfy them deeply.
That's different than someone making a conscious decision (eg not taking the most demanding job in order to have time w the family)
The other thing unambitious people often miss is that working hardcore can be fun and energizing in its own right and it can develop you as a person holistically.
I don't think many ambitious people work hard despite hating it every second. I think they rather enjoy it and benefit from it (similar to someone who likes exercise). At least that's been my experience and perception.
> They are just kinda passing\wasting it on things that don't satisfy them deeply.
This notion that you should be grinding for some sort of passion or satisfaction isn't as real as people make it out to be. Some of the most depressed, broken people you meet are highly passionate professionals, celebrities, and artists who found deep satisfaction in their jobs.
When it comes down to it, mental health things are more complicated than chasing you 'passion', whatever that means.
In my experience the happiest and most stable people I know are financially secure. Not hard workers, not working on some magnum opus. Just plain well-off. One is a stay at home dad who hasn't worked a day since he married his wife at 24. Great guy. He isn't posting on hackernews about life hacks and bragging about the grind. He just golfs and raises his kids and winks when I make fun of him for it.
I think you and I agree (I am the person you're responding to)
The guy you mentioned who's busy raising his kids is doing the most important and meaningful work he can possibly be doing. It doesn't have to be a grind to be meaningful. It just needs to be meaningful...
This isn't the same as the archetype I referred to in my post - a guy who's not ambitious but also is not doing anything meaningful or enjoyable with his time and energy (which is very different from your friend)
My two cents, I deeply agree that "everything has a cost" but I don't find that most unambitious people make a conscious trade off.
Most unambitious people I know aren't doing anything with the time and energy they are "saving". They are just kinda passing/wasting it on things that don't satisfy them deeply.
That's different than someone making a conscious decision (eg not taking the most demanding job in order to have time w the family)
The other thing unambitious people often miss is that working hardcore can be fun and energizing in its own right and it can develop you as a person holistically.
I don't think many ambitious people work hard despite hating it every second. I think they rather enjoy it and benefit from it (similar to someone who likes exercise). At least that's been my experience and perception.