>but I don't feel like growing up attending Catholic mass every week did much community-wise. We'd show up, sit down, do the rituals, and head home, without really interacting much (if at all) with fellow parishioners.

I felt the exact same way growing up. But that's the thing: while I hated church my parents/grandparents got really involved. It wasn't unusual for my grandparents to meet up with friends after Church at some buffet and talk, and my grandmother was involved in a few non-sunday service activities. My mother met a few friend in the area through church and sang on the choir.

I don't know if they were outliers, but the key here was 1) meeting people in the area (my mom moved constantly and church was one of the first things she joins) and 2) having an easy excuse to do something after church on Sunday. I struggle to do monthly rituals with friends nearby and meanwhile two generations of family could do weekly luncheons after participation in a place that was fine with bringing kids into.

I should note that this might still be a division of the genders, though. My Grandfather didn't do much more than drop off/pick up my grandmother.